A cold world......

I walked past a elderly person in a restruant today. She was so lonely sitting there trying to blow on the hot soup that layed in front of her.
A few mins later her purse fell, It layed there for nearly 20 mins as she finished her soup, I simply had enough and got up from my seat and raised her purse to her, She shook trying to stand up and flashed a smile...That moment touched me.

But for the thought that at least 30 people were in the area of that purse and did not bother to pick it up had me wondering...

Should America learn to treat the elderly better and with new respect?
It seems that elderly people are typically forgotten by exept for love ones.
Is there a way America can help fix this problem?

Society has become deformed, man. Only way to bring back respect is to enforce it.

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Originally Posted by Skirata

Society has become deformed, man. Only way to bring back respect is to enforce it.

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I agree, i think they need to have some kind of laws in place to ensure that elderly people get some kind of respect.

There are always going to be selfish and mean people in this world. i bet some were afraid to pick it up for her because somebody might make fun of them. But it's good you had the courage to do that.

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Eleanor Rigby (Lennon/McCartney)

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working,darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

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This has been sing along time with Arumen

I don't mean to be cruel or a mean bish but, I don't think respect should be expected,
Respect needs to be earned. I think what your talking about is more along the lines of being
kind and caring, and in society theres always going to be the non-genourous, non-carers,
but there is ALWAYS someone willing to help, and someone willing to give up their seat.

I agree, Gottibabe. It's like you can't just expect a reward for a good deed, you have to be earned.

Respect shouldn't be earned, it should be an implicit part of any human interaction. Now, if you are dealing with a person who has proven themselves to you in the past as being a turkey, then factor that into your interaction accordingly. But interactions should start with respect. I teach high school, and I see a lot of kids who give no respect to any adult on campus, and hide behind the excuse of "respect has to be earned". But that's not reality. If I met your grandmother, I'd be respectful to her even if that was our first interaction.

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Originally Posted by BigBlugga

Is there a way America can help fix this problem?

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I say we cut off all citizen communications for 3 weeks every other month for an entire year! and on every other sunday all fast food restaurants will be required to serve only pickles

Common courtesy has gone downhill in recent generations.

Let me share some advice that my father taught me...
No matter where you go, or what you do, take time to acknowledge the least of us.


When I say "lesser" I do not mean people that are actually worth less than others. I just mean people that are perceived to be lower on the social totem pole. In my youth, when I went to work with my dad, I saw this lesson in practice. He would acknowledge his superiors with curt respect. But, he would stop and chat for just a moment or two with the janitors, the secretaries, and anyone who was near the bottom on the "authority" scale at his office. Consequently, even though he was lower management, he was king of the building. Not a soul in that building did not cherish and respect my father as a co-worker, even though his contribution to the company was small.

So that is my advice. Treat the janitors and clerks etc... of this world like kings. You will see rewards in the end.

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Originally Posted by gottibabe1

I don't mean to be cruel or a mean bish but, I don't think respect should be expected,
Respect needs to be earned. I think what your talking about is more along the lines of being
kind and caring, and in society theres always going to be the non-genourous, non-carers,
but there is ALWAYS someone willing to help, and someone willing to give up their seat.

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Sorry babe but I have to disagree with you.

You should treat everyone you meet with respect. It does not have to be earned as it should be the normal way you treat people.

That's the way I was brought up. So I say please and thank you to the server at the shop and the waiter who serves me and I give up my seat on a bus to the elderly person, injured person or pregnant woman.

Who are you that I should need to "earn" your respect? If anything, this type of attitude "earns" my disrespect.

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Originally Posted by Rodri

Sorry babe but I have to disagree with you.

You should treat everyone you meet with respect. It does not have to be earned as it should be the normal way you treat people.

That's the way I was brought up. So I say please and thank you to the server at the shop and the waiter who serves me and I give up my seat on a bus to the elderly person, injured person or pregnant woman.

Who are you that I should need to "earn" your respect? If anything, this type of attitude "earns" my disrespect.

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But thats not respect, thats just having good manners.

That is all having good manners is. It is simply showing other people some courtesy and respect and hoping they will do the same for you.
I am not asking total strangers to go out of their way to be nice to me, just to show me the same respect that they would expect me to show them. I am sure you would get upset if a total stranger was openly rude to you. Yet you still think that they need to earn your respect before you will show them any?

well.... if he's rude to me why in the heck would I be nice to him?



sigh... clearly i opened pandoras box -_-

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Originally Posted by gottibabe1

well.... if he's rude to me why in the heck would I be nice to him?

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Kill them with kindness.

I was in retail management. If I was on duty and a really, really irate customer came to the front desk, I usually got the call. I can't tell you the number of people who were rude and angry and every other foul term you can think of. I would literally smother them with manners and courtesy, and by the end I usually ended up getting an apology out of them. :D

The rudest people need to be shown the most courtesy. Angry people are usually looking for a reason to get angrier. If you give them absolutely no cause, they settle down and become civil.

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Originally Posted by Boleslav

Respect shouldn't be earned, it should be an implicit part of any human interaction. Now, if you are dealing with a person who has proven themselves to you in the past as being a turkey, then factor that into your interaction accordingly. But interactions should start with respect. I teach high school, and I see a lot of kids who give no respect to any adult on campus, and hide behind the excuse of "respect has to be earned". But that's not reality. If I met your grandmother, I'd be respectful to her even if that was our first interaction.

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This is true to a certain point...say u gave her some respect, this amount is limited due to our society now...the rest of ur respect can be given if she returns ur jesture of good favor, or u can recall ur respect if u get into a bad situation with her.....respect is a given in all relations of human contact, but it is not total. To respect totally, u must add the starting amount of respect to that which is earned.

I wonder sometimes if the educators have implanted this concept of "respect has to be earned" into children? Surely parents are teaching their children to show respect to others? It's just that I hear that same phrase so often these days from younger people that it seems like it is being drummed into them somewhere.

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Originally Posted by Rodri

I wonder sometimes if the educators have implanted this concept of "respect has to be earned" into children? Surely parents are teaching their children to show respect to others? It's just that I hear that same phrase so often these days from younger people that it seems like it is being drummed into them somewhere.

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The "respect must be earned" attitude is just a bigoted idea. It comes from a thought process that others are less than you and must earn the right to be considered "on your level." Whatever the reason is you think they must earn your courtesy, it is a bad reason. Whether it's because they don't make as much money as you, or aren't as educated, or don't have similar economic parentage, no reason is justified. Bigotry is not just race/creed/sex discrimination, it can be as simple as "that person doesn't agree with me, so they can go die in a fire."

Treat everyone the way you want to be treated... like a human being.
Noone should have to jump through hoops just to be treated with courtesy and respect.

You give respect to others period.

I work as the front-counter person in a fast-food resaurant, and trust me, if you slip, all will see it.

Respect has to be shown indiscriminantly to everyone, from the beggar to the President.

If both of them show up at the same time, treat them both like your own boss when he is considering giving you a raise.

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It's no different in your social life. Respect others, and at least they will listen to you. They will notice, sooner ot later. Perhaps you may be respected in turn, and so you have a reputation as you go dow the road.


Simple as that.

I wasn't meaning it in the way that I'm not going to respect you if your nothing or like that, I guess what I was meaning was, I don't expect people to respect me. Yes of coarse I show respect to people, but don't automatically assume right off the bat I'm supposed to respect you. If you respect me, I'll most likely respect you. Unless of coarse you wierdly respect me, but are rude at the same time (i wonder how that would play out lol) then I'll prolly tell you to go shet in a hat.


Oddly enough I'm probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet (or so I was told)

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Originally Posted by gottibabe1

I wasn't meaning it in the way

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I didn't think you meant it in that way. :) But, there are people that genuinely have that attitude.


RIGHT) Everyone gets respect, but disdain can be earned.

WRONG) You better work to get on my good side if you want to earn my respect.

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Originally Posted by Boleslav

Respect shouldn't be earned, it should be an implicit part of any human interaction. Now, if you are dealing with a person who has proven themselves to you in the past as being a turkey, then factor that into your interaction accordingly. But interactions should start with respect. I teach high school, and I see a lot of kids who give no respect to any adult on campus, and hide behind the excuse of "respect has to be earned". But that's not reality. If I met your grandmother, I'd be respectful to her even if that was our first interaction.

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I couldn't agree more. Too many young people are of the belief that 'you say I must earn respect, then so do you'...and I've had that said to me one or two times as well :rolleyes: I am always overjoyed when i see a young person being respectful and courteous...they are out there, but unfortunately, many mask their goodness because of the expectations of the younger society of today. Hands together for those people out there (young or older) who take the time to remember the days when respect wasn't challenged or questioned, but rather, an important part of everyday life. Rights and freedoms yes, but that doesn't mean society can run roughshod over rules and expectations. To me, respect is an unwritten rule, unless someone gives you a reason NOT to respect them.
As for a purse on the floor in front of an elderly person...I would never hesitate to help, that's just courteous and frankly, I would do it because I feel it's the right thing to do. One day I too may be in that position, and I should hope that 'someone' out there would also be as courteous. Imagine a society of people who only put their own needs first? Frightening.

It's fairly simple.

People today don't know what public manners are. They don't CARE about others, and that's what this capital-loving, wealth-inducing world does to people's attitudes. Some not very well-off people I know are possibly the most generous, kind people I've met. It's the opposite when it comes to wealthy people.

It's not the same as it was even 50 years ago, when neighbours actually knew each other and were good friends (usually).....

The world's changed.

For better or for worse, that's the question......

You got my respect.. !;)

I do the same, still give up my seat for an elderly person on the bus.
They had it much harder than we do today, and in my book should automatically get respect.. ;-) :D

Respect; esteem: the condition of being honored.

I think respect can be automatic, but it can also be earned. You honor (respect) thy mother and thy father (to quote that one book...). This obviously applies to grandparents and the like. At the same time, respect should be earned in situations in which it has been lost. Do we respect men who run from battle? Do we respect politicians that have lied to us? how about criminals? Dirty cops? Where do we draw the line? As much as we hat to admit it, these sorts of people are human- although life would be much simpler if they weren't. If we say that we should respect everyone, can we actually do it?

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Originally Posted by Rota

I didn't think you meant it in that way. :) But, there are people that genuinely have that attitude.


RIGHT) Everyone gets respect, but disdain can be earned.

WRONG) You better work to get on my good side if you want to earn my respect.

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Of course, if one earns disdain he has to earn respect later....