Help!

Hi Guys and Gals of the OTD. I have a problem I need to solve. Fast.

At my school, the yearly dance is coming up. But not just an ordinary one. The last one before I graduate.
Now, on normal circumstances, it would be usual that I would be at home, eating icecream and pizza, and posting here, on Evony. But here comes the problem.

I have a crush on a girl.

I was thinking of asking her out for the dance, but I can't seem to fit the words in right. Please, can anyone give me some advice?

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Originally Posted by Montros

Hi Guys and Gals of the OTD. I have a problem I need to solve. Fast.

At my school, the yearly dance is coming up. But not just an ordinary one. The last one before I graduate.
Now, on normal circumstances, it would be usual that I would be at home, eating icecream and pizza, and posting here, on Evony. But here comes the problem.

I have a crush on a girl.

I was thinking of asking her out for the dance, but I can't seem to fit the words in right. Please, can anyone give me some advice?

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Prom huh? Since I'm socially awkward, I can't offer much help, but I hope it works out for you.

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Originally Posted by acer5200

Prom huh? Since I'm socially awkward, I can't offer much help, but I hope it works out for you.

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:rofl: me too -_-... just make sure your confident! well thats what me friends that are girls(or at least i think they are) says 0.o

*Has autism*

Not the best person to ask for social things...

How does she feel about you? How is your energy together? How compatible are you? Are your friends friends with her and her friends? Do you have a history of asking people out, or would this be an unusual thing for you? What's your social standing at school? What's her social standing at school? What are your intentions beyond prom? What is your crush based on? Why do you describe it as a crush and not as love?

If you can get me this data, I'll make a recommendation.

I had a similiar prolem (But it wasn't a special dance like this, it was justa usual jo-shmoe). To be honest, words don't really matter. If she likes you she will say no matter what, if she doesn't she will say no, no matter what.

Just remember what's the worst that can happen, she could say no, that's it.

Don't ever say her name to her. Always refer to her as her. A lot of women hate that.

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Originally Posted by B2X

Just remember what's the worst that can happen, she could say no, that's it.

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She could embarrass you, and ruin your social life and any chance you would have with another girl.

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Originally Posted by BigBlugga

Don't ever say her name to her. Always refer to her as her. A lot of women hate that.



She could embarrass you, and ruin your social life and any chance you would have with another girl.

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People who don't ever say my name never get a date. ;)

If she's that much of a cruel person than you wouldn't want her friends anyways. And it wouldn't be "any chance", never say never!

Bole's right, more info please :)

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Originally Posted by BigBlugga

Don't ever say her name to her. Always refer to her as her. A lot of women hate that.



She could embarrass you, and ruin your social life and any chance you would have with another girl.

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-__- I didn't want to say that, that could make Monty a lot more nervous.

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Originally Posted by AbstractAngel

People who don't ever say my name never get a date. ;)

If she's that much of a cruel person than you wouldn't want her friends anyways. And it wouldn't be "any chance", never say never!

Bole's right, more info please :)

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Even in the initial awkward "ask out" moment?

:p

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Originally Posted by BigBlugga

Even in the initial awkward "ask out" moment?

:p

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By then we know eachother well enough he's said my name to me before. If you are asking me out and haven't proven you even KNOW my name, then no, not even in the awkward moment lol.

I once had a guy friend ask me out and then flinch away as if I was going to hit him! Best ask-out EVER (imo)! ;)

My advice...

bros before hos(hoes...? hose?)

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Originally Posted by AbstractAngel

By then we know eachother well enough he's said my name to me before. If you are asking me out and haven't proven you even KNOW my name, then no, not even in the awkward moment lol.

I once had a guy friend ask me out and then flinch away as if I was going to hit him! Best ask-out EVER (imo)! ;)

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Most guys stalk a girl before asking them out. They will no your name. Trust me.

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Originally Posted by Skirata

My advice...

bros before hos(hoes...? hose?)

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I was gonna crack a joke here.

I agree Bros Before Ho's

I'd recommend being honest and up front however you do it. Don't overthink it too much.

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Don't ever say her name to her. Always refer to her as her. A lot of women hate that.

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Disagreed. A guy that never says a girl's name might be a guy that doesn't -know- the girl's name and that's pretty much a deal-breaker.

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Originally Posted by BigBlugga

Most guys stalk a girl before asking them out. They will no your name. Trust me.


I was gonna crack a joke here.

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Crack it...

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Originally Posted by Boleslav

How does she feel about you? As a friend How is your energy together? Pretty normal How compatible are you? I don't know... Are your friends friends with her and her friends? Yeah Do you have a history of asking people out, or would this be an unusual thing for you? Unusual, and will be made fun of What's your social standing at school? Class clown/Smart@ss What's her social standing at school? Quiet person. Doesn't talk much What are your intentions beyond prom? To establish a good relationship, maybe even beyond highschool What is your crush based on? Her personality, and, of course, her looks Why do you describe it as a crush and not as love? Because I've never experienced real love before. Every time I think I do, I end up not caring about the person and forgeting about my crush.

If you can get me this data, I'll make a recommendation.

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Are you pleased with my answers?

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Originally Posted by Alusair

I'd recommend being honest and up front however you do it. Don't overthink it too much.



Disagreed. A guy that never says a girl's name might be a guy that doesn't -know- the girl's name and that's pretty much a deal-breaker.

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Alexandra. Been on the top of my tongue for two months now.

Never try to look to confident.

It makez teh chicks feel like youre too good to be asking them out.

(Btw, is it a fat chick?)

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Originally Posted by criplockin

Never try to look to confident.

It makez teh chicks feel like youre too good to be asking them out.

(Btw, is it a fat chick?)

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Crip, don't go stealing other people's women, even if she is plump, hands off! ;)

As for your answers, if you're the "class clown" but are sure she is your friend, I would find a time you two can speak in private and just go for it (asking, not jumping in there)! If you don't take risks sometimes you'll never know what your life could be ;)

Usually the shy girls:
1. Aren't the type to start being crazy freaks who smeer your name.
2. If she's shy with you chances are she would be honoured if you ask with respect.
3. If not, she will probably be the one avoiding you (worst case scenario) not the other way around.

Oh, and be careful will ya? If you're the class clown, she's the shy girl, and you said you've had crushes like this before but it always dies out make sure you keep her feelings at the front of your mind in this. It's mature of you to not call it "love" before it has a chance to grow and to recognize previous patterns, but I would make sure you remember that. ;)

Remember, you are most confident when you're happy. Don't think about it all day, or your gut'll wrap itself into a Darringer knot, which isn't to good for your ego.

However, don't make yourself seem overconfident. You don't want the ladies thinking you're a pushover/a-hole.

Your answers help a lot Montros.;)

If she is quiet, and you have a reputation as a class clown, then you pretty much aren't going to take a big reputation hit if you ask her and she declines. So it's very low risk to ask her. If she rejects you the worse case scenario is you hurt inside and in public have to do the "clown" thing. Sure, that'll hurt, but pretty much all comedians have that inner core of melancholy.

I think there's really two things going on here (1) the prom, which you have already accepted in your head as being a huge deal:

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Originally Posted by Montros

At my school, the yearly dance is coming up. But not just an ordinary one. The last one before I graduate.

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and (2):

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Originally Posted by Montros

I have a crush on a girl.

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The problem comes when you try to shoehorn these two things together.

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Originally Posted by Montros

I was thinking of asking her out for the dance, but I can't seem to fit the words in right.

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You can't "fit the words in right" because there are two things going on that might not necessarily be best together. 2 + 2 may not = 4. It may not be best to kill two birds with one stone. You, a well known funny guy on campus, are planning on asking a quiet friend not just to go out with you, but to go to the most public event of your lives, together. That may be too stressful and too wide a leap for her to be able to make. I'd suggest this:

1. Tell her you've got something to talk to her about, and can you meet? (somewhere off campus and quiet but public - ideally a coffee shop)

2. Tell her that you have feelings for her (and describe them, be specific, give an example - when I saw you doing X I thought Y, etc etc), and that you'd love to ask her to the prom. But tell her that it's OK for her to think about it, and it's definitely OK for her not to go to the prom with you if that is a stress, because it's her and your feelings for her that are important and not the prom. The prom is gonna be fun, but that's not the reason you are having this conversation with her. You feel there is a future, or something worth exploring, and the idea of finishing high school is making you appreciate what you previously took for granted.

The key is to communicate, to create openness and offer her choices, and to be heartfelt and honest.

Text her saying

"Hey Gurl Wanna Dance?" That always works.

First, ask her in private if she will go with you to prevent embarrassment. My guess is that she is not a gossiper, so do not feel bad about it. If she does say yes, find a good way to ask her, set up something cute, etc. You can find 100000 ways to ask someone to prom online.

flash a smile then make her giggle ..

As the most socially awkward person most of my friends will ever meet, I really can't help you with this. All I can say is : don't try to ridiculous lengths to impress her. If she doesn't like you the way you are naturally, then the whole thing will fail anyway. I do sympathize with you; I've been in the same situation before.
Good luck dude.

Buy a super giant cookie and then "will you go to prom with me" in the frosting. Give it to her in class or some other time that seems right.

It's epic and classic. Tastes good too ;)

Then tell her at prom you have feelings for her ;)

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Originally Posted by Montros

Are you pleased with my answers?

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i am

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Originally Posted by AbstractAngel

Crip, don't go stealing other people's women, even if she is plump, hands off! ;)

As for your answers, if you're the "class clown" but are sure she is your friend, I would find a time you two can speak in private and just go for it (asking, not jumping in there)! If you don't take risks sometimes you'll never know what your life could be ;)

Usually the shy girls:
1. Aren't the type to start being crazy freaks who smeer your name.
2. If she's shy with you chances are she would be honoured if you ask with respect.
3. If not, she will probably be the one avoiding you (worst case scenario) not the other way around.

Oh, and be careful will ya? If you're the class clown, she's the shy girl, and you said you've had crushes like this before but it always dies out make sure you keep her feelings at the front of your mind in this. It's mature of you to not call it "love" before it has a chance to grow and to recognize previous patterns, but I would make sure you remember that. ;)

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good advice

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Originally Posted by Boleslav

Your answers help a lot Montros.;)

If she is quiet, and you have a reputation as a class clown, then you pretty much aren't going to take a big reputation hit if you ask her and she declines. So it's very low risk to ask her. If she rejects you the worse case scenario is you hurt inside and in public have to do the "clown" thing. Sure, that'll hurt, but pretty much all comedians have that inner core of melancholy.

I think there's really two things going on here (1) the prom, which you have already accepted in your head as being a huge deal:



and (2):


The problem comes when you try to shoehorn these two things together.



You can't "fit the words in right" because there are two things going on that might not necessarily be best together. 2 + 2 may not = 4. It may not be best to kill two birds with one stone. You, a well known funny guy on campus, are planning on asking a quiet friend not just to go out with you, but to go to the most public event of your lives, together. That may be too stressful and too wide a leap for her to be able to make. I'd suggest this:

1. Tell her you've got something to talk to her about, and can you meet? (somewhere off campus and quiet but public - ideally a coffee shop)

2. Tell her that you have feelings for her (and describe them, be specific, give an example - when I saw you doing X I thought Y, etc etc), and that you'd love to ask her to the prom. But tell her that it's OK for her to think about it, and it's definitely OK for her not to go to the prom with you if that is a stress, because it's her and your feelings for her that are important and not the prom. The prom is gonna be fun, but that's not the reason you are having this conversation with her. You feel there is a future, or something worth exploring, and the idea of finishing high school is making you appreciate what you previously took for granted.

The key is to communicate, to create openness and offer her choices, and to be heartfelt and honest.

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also good advice



as the quiet girl from my class, (yes i was the quiet one) i can tell you that she probably already knows what she would say if you were to ask her. if you have time, i dont know when your prom is, i suggest a date or two before hand. quiet girls need time to open up. so a date or two before hand will help because prom wont be the frist date with all the first date awkwardness as well as prom awkwardness. show her that you can be serious and that your not always a clown that will help her relax. at the same time, though not conversely, be your self.

at all times be your self, she will respect if not love you for that.

I find the whole situation interesting to be honest.


Most of the time, I am indeed the quiet guy. Yeah, I crack jokes open quite often, but when people actually want to know about me, I tend to shut down the convo and run off...


I am the sort of guy who would always speak his mind and keep his heart and soul in lockdown mode...


If she's like this, you have to actually ask her. It is indeed a big deal, if you've never asked her out before, but I can tell you that even though it's a scary thing, it's not all that bad once you let it out.


Unless she's armed with a Bowie knife and/or a flamethrower, you should be fine. Keep your chin up, but be humble about it. She may not be Queen of the world (although she may be Queen of your heart), but you aren't King either.

Just go ahead and ask, and don't try to hide your feelings for her. Your tone of voice should tell her exactly what you feel if she's a smart girl (the silent ones always are).



Go ahead and ask, but in a private situation. Don't ask in a cafeteria, or the middle of campus. Like the others said, do it in a secluded location, where she won't feel pressured by other people to make a choice then and there.

If you make people feel like their forced to do this (girls especially) they will more likely say "no" than "yes."

Ask her calmly. Don't panic, cry or shout. Ask her cleanly, evenly, and humbly, but again, keep your chin up a bit. It's important, and she's your potential date, but it's not the end of the world either...




Now go and ask and don't miss the prom altogether by asking everyone about it.


Shoo!!! Go ask!!! And remember what we said (with crip's exception)...

An easy way would be to simply write her a note. Buy some flowers, and hand them to her as well as the note. Give a smile and run away. If you do that way, then you won't risk the chance of her saying no right away out of shock. She'll have time to think about it. No need to make it too serious either. You're still in high school and that could scare her away. Make it simple. An example would be: Please go to the dance with me. I like you and am too scared to ask in person so sorry about not asking in person. Don't make it exactly like that though. Write a little more, but not much more. Add a little humor, and make it romantic in a silly way. Girls usually like it when someone can make them laugh and if it comes off as more casual, she might not be as nervous about going with you.

My advice would be to just tell her you like her and ask her out. It doesn't get any easier the longer you wait to do it. I'll tell you a bit of my own history, I am in Love with this one woman, by the time I worked up the courage to tell her she was already in a serious relationship with another guy. Now I get to watch her go out with another man all because I was too afraid to admit how I felt. Take the Bull by the horns mate and just ask her. She might say no, but i'd rather have a confirmed no, than a What if.

People have been brought to tears and eternal grief for putting off this sort of request. Trust me on this...

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Originally Posted by criplockin

Never try to look to confident.

It makez teh chicks feel like youre too good to be asking them out.

(Btw, is it a fat chick?)

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No, it is not a fat chick...

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Originally Posted by KittyC

An easy way would be to simply write her a note. Buy some flowers, and hand them to her as well as the note. Give a smile and run away. If you do that way, then you won't risk the chance of her saying no right away out of shock. She'll have time to think about it. No need to make it too serious either. You're still in high school and that could scare her away. Make it simple. An example would be: Please go to the dance with me. I like you and am too scared to ask in person so sorry about not asking in person. Don't make it exactly like that though. Write a little more, but not much more. Add a little humor, and make it romantic in a silly way. Girls usually like it when someone can make them laugh and if it comes off as more casual, she might not be as nervous about going with you.

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I was thinking of a similar thing. But it needs a "fuse" to start. Like a reason to give her the note.
Umm...can I change something? We're not exactly friends. I know her, she knows me. After re-looking our relationship, I'm not really sure we have one...hehe....
Sorry guys and gals. Can you revise to that situation, plz?

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Originally Posted by Montros

No, it is not a fat chick...

I was thinking of a similar thing. But it needs a "fuse" to start. Like a reason to give her the note.
Umm...can I change something? We're not exactly friends. I know her, she knows me. After re-looking our relationship, I'm not really sure we have one...hehe....
Sorry guys and gals. Can you revise to that situation, plz?

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I still say just take the bull by the horn and ask. Wait until she is alone or take her aside a moment and just ask. Say something along the lines of. "I know we don't know each other that well, but I was wondering if you're not already going if you'd be interested in going to the prom/Dance (whatever function it is ) with me?" and Take it from there. It really doesn't need to be any more elaborate then that, and if she says no take it gracefully thank her and walk away.

Do what Kaldath said. If you don't know each other very well, that would be least creepy way to do it. Or you could do that annoying thing young people like to do and try to ask one of her friends to ask them if she likes you and so forth. Keep going back and forth with that friend until you get a decent amount of information. Then ask her, or if you're still not sure, ask her friend to ask for you. I would personally hate that, but some people don't mind.

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Originally Posted by Jurnis

Unless she's armed with a Bowie knife and/or a flamethrower, you should be fine.

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Or potpourri. We can be deadly with potpourri.

if she doesn't know you probably she will say 'NO'

even if she knows you and likes you she may still say 'NO' to check if you are going to insist or something
I don't know much about these stuff,
but girls are hard to understand each of them has its own way you can't generalize anything about girls lol

good luck bro

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Originally Posted by Montros

Sorry guys and gals. Can you revise to that situation, plz?

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i still say ask her out first. a walk in the park, the play place at mcdonalds, something fun and non committal. something easy to change plans in the middle of, something where you can get to know each other a little better so that come prom you wont be so nervous and can enjoy the evening.

just because your not the best of friends doesnt mean she doesnt know you some. give her the chance to get to know more of you and things will go smother.

if your courage fails you ask your friends to ask her friends to ask her what she might say if you asked her.
lol grape vine

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Originally Posted by imnothere

i still say ask her out first. a walk in the park, the play place at mcdonalds, something fun and non committal. something easy to change plans in the middle of, something where you can get to know each other a little better so that come prom you wont be so nervous and can enjoy the evening.

just because your not the best of friends doesnt mean she doesnt know you some. give her the chance to get to know more of you and things will go smother.

if your courage fails you ask your friends to ask her friends to ask her what she might say if you asked her.
lol grape vine

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hmmm... I was thinking I could ask if she has a Facebook account, and then befriend her... Then approach from there. I have a sort of phobia for looking people in the eyes, so I was guessing typing it would be easier.:rofl:

Can you first post a picture of yourself and her?
I can see if people will be good together

//joke


All the good advice are taken:(
Do as they say, and you should be fine. Be yourself, but not to much of yourself at the same time. That could probably go bad...