Why the chicken crossed the road?

I am not sure if this has already been made, as i am still rather new to the OT forums and dont know the ins and outs of the place.

Would like to propose a new topic, one where the question is

Why the chicken crossed the road?

you can be original or give credit to other people's answers!

for example:

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' prob lems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road .
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%
........ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
**** CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white ? We need some black chickens.

Enjoy :cheer:

I'm going to find where you live and..... play thumbwars

The chicken crossed the road to "meet me halfway". (you know the song from Black Eyed Peas The End)

Hey I posted right?

Chicken crossed the road cause it felt like crossing a road. period.

It's an enjoyable read, but please keep it as not-political as possible please?

The chicken crossed the road to get internet access so he could copy and paste chicken jokes and pass them off as his own.

Ask the Dark Lord of the Chickens himself...

*Looks at darkchicken*

Quote:

Originally Posted by webby189

The chicken crossed the road to get internet access so he could copy and paste chicken jokes and pass them off as his own.

if that is targeted at me, i obv put someone else's name as the person who said it. actually i got it from a mail that was sent around several times by my friends and just got it today, i didnt go to google and punch in the question ;)

everyone knows that i did not come up with these jokes since i put other people's name in front of it first :)

Honestly, I have always thought that the chicken crossed the road to get away from Colonel Sanders.

The chicken crossed the road to escape the evil chicken enslavers in pursuit.

I think I murmured a giggle.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t9pl9Dh5gG...txuuo1_500.jpg

well i crossed the road to play on evony but apparently ur all listening to y barrack obama says y i crossed the road

Q why did the pilgrims come to america?
A. to get to the otherside

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily ****inson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asmo

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

I lold so much.

i hope u did not come up with all that o ur own asmo

i know my history its true

well you see there was a sale on feather dusters and a dear relative of the chicken had recently gone missing and while the barnyard police had yet to uncover any trace of her friend or who might have taken her she thought she might set forth on her own to discover the possibility if her friends feathers might be among the dusters for sale. and so this intrepid little avian gumshoe crossed over to the shop where her friend might or might not be for sale never dreaming that the lesser of the stories would be the one remembered.

Fail topic since i've never been crossed by a chicken...

:D

Huckleberry Finn :

Now yall, if you would sit for a spell, and i'll tell you what happened to that chicken:

It all started on a nice and purty day. We dun thought we would have some fun, and alon' the way, we see an old chap, all dressed smartly in white, with a ragin' mad look in his eyes. He was holdin' an axe, and my little friend up and run like crazy!!!

Now there was this here road, that ended up on the end of his land, and we rushed over to it, only to meet another old man, dressed like me, and holdin' a pen.

And I sayz to this man, "Mark Twain?!!?!?"

"Yes, sur, how may I be of azisstunce?"

"Over yonder is a madman and a butcher after us!!!" I said.

Ok, so this chap waves his here pen in the wind, and suddenly an army of turkeys ups and appears!!!

They all shout "For the Kunfederucy of Fallen Chickens!!!"

So these here birds start a peckin' this fella hard, and he eventually up and runs away.

Now all uv the other chickens in the mysterious white shack in the distance come a runnin' towards us, and we all a turn into rebs, and high-tail it over to the high-road.

But then we stopped, because out a loomin' in the distance from us, was the road!!! So we up and decided that for histry's sake we should cross that dang thing!!!

The trip took hours, because there was strange wall we had run into before we could a cross it. There was a lot o noise up yonder, and when we finally mounted our wall, there were metal boxes being driven by people back and forth this high stone path.

On the other side of the road, sat Mark Twain, UGIN with his magicul pen!!! He waved it une more time, and sudd'nly everything vanished.

In frunt of us, was only a right tiny dirt path, that led through a thicket. Now, there wuz the task of crossing it!!! My chickun frind up and took the first step. Suddenly, it all shrank, and he crossed it!!! We all cheer'd him, and ran after the fella.

It took a full five hours for the lot of us to cross it, there were that many of us!!!

Suddenly, my home appeared in frunt of me, along with a giant hen coop, and my new mum Ms. Wilson, and my frind Dennis came out, and helped us put the hins in their places.

Well folks, that's all, and I'm a gettin' called for lunch!!! See ya!!!

({(This detailed account of the story could not have happened without imnothere, without whom he would not have sit down to spin the whole darn yarn...)})