Well, as the thread has been successfully de-railed by the collective, the only thing left to say is...
IN BEFORE THE LOCK!!!
Printable View
Well, as the thread has been successfully de-railed by the collective, the only thing left to say is...
IN BEFORE THE LOCK!!!
Darn, I didn't have time to call IN BEFORE THE MINIMOD.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jurnis
Well shelter is the most important thing in all survival situations.
sooo
1. shelter
2. water
3. fire
4. food
Yes, because those were the most entertaining ones to read so they deserved a second mention....Quote:
Originally Posted by Rota
Quote:
Originally Posted by XxflamesxX
funny posts I ever seen lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Alusair
-Okay now that's too far-
i have this board game that is a cross between trivial pursute and surviver. its called...
http://www.educationallearninggames....board-game.jpg
you get to move your peace to the end of the board by correctly answering survival situation questions.
like: your the survivor of a nuclear disaster (plant mishap or bomb doesnt much matter) and you have a chicken that you have caught and killed and cooked. what parts of it do you eat?
the answer is anything not near a bone.
so i pose to you this question: you are the survivor of this thread, you have derailed and rerailed it several times, where do you go from here?
the answer is:
in white because thats sneaky
cry like a baby and try to find my way home then cry some moreQuote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
This reminds me of the Blair Witch Project, but I think there is one important difference. Those trees were deciduous and these trees are carnivorous.Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
I don't go into the woods without a fourwheeler and a gun.
JP, the problem is you're not giving us a good reason why we would ever be out in the woods in the first place, let alone lost. Some might actually enjoy camping out somewhere, but would have better packed survival gear, even on a hike. You could pull out a 'Survivor' type scenario, but even then, the contestants are constantly tracked. Even loggers would have blazed their own trails, so they wouldn't get lost. So, other than getting kidnapped, and escaping, (which means we probably wouldn't have the knife, in this case), whyever would we, as sensible beings, be lost in a forest?
I agree fall. I think JP needs to provide a list of 15 objects of which we happen to have 5 things in our backpack (backpack doesn't count as one of the 5 items).
Here are some possible items:
- a banana
- a dowsing rod
- a dinghy
- a dog
- a bra
- abracax
- a full Thanksgiving dinner
- an artificial limb (player's choice)
- an iPod
- a grappling hook
- bedbug repellant
- bigblugg repellant
- a tin of creosote
- a hovercraft
- a screaming child with a dirty diaper
- Goats (the Mod)
- Goats (the herbivore)
- Goats cheese
- a kitana
- a kite
- a kitten
What 5 would you pick to survive?
Okie, ill add the reason : One long night of partying a drinking buddy of yours suggested you go to this guys after party at his log cabin in the woods, while they you drank yourself out of your mind and decieded it would be a good idea to walk home... so you begin to walk home and after a good long while you become tired and pass out awakening - lost in the forest. It is mid-summer. Your elevation is 1,000 meters above sea level. The daytime temperature is near 35 degrees C. Nighttime temperature is near 15 Degrees C. You have a pocket knife, light jacket, pants, shirt and boots. The forest has pine trees and cedar trees and is slightly mountainous terrain. What do you do? What is your plan?Quote:
Fallbreeze: JP, the problem is you're not giving us a good reason why we would ever be out in the woods in the first place, let alone lost.
now i created the reason from a memory of mine becuase it actually happened to me but instead of getting any where when i decieded to walk home and girl i was seeing came out of the cabin looking for me and asked what i was doing and laughed and we went back inside and got a ride back home later that night.
Could I switch one of those items with a Boleslav? Oh, and I'd want a Swiss Army Knife and duct tape!
Yes, but Boleslav counts for two items.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fallbreeze
Slightly better, but a couple of things. A) Drinking buddy would have to remember I'd be the DD, so I wouldn't be getting myself sloshed, though that would work for quite a few here. B) Notice you did have someone come looking for you. Plus, did the cabin have phone service? If it did, whoever noticed you gone could have filed the report with search and rescue, or, at the very least, notified the local police.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinkade
And I quote you in my sig again bole.Quote:
Originally Posted by Boleslav
I'll find a source of water and follow it downstream until it goes into a river...then I'll follow it to an ocean...and then play on the beach :D
I would take the *screaming child* and *kitten* just in case i was attacked by bears/wolves , and i would get inside the *dinghy* on top of the highest cliff/hill grab the *kite* and hope for the best . . . if all else fails i would have my *artifical Limb* a extra leg . . . hey 50% reduced travel time?Quote:
Boleslav: I agree fall. I think JP needs to provide a list of 15 objects of which we happen to have 5 things in our backpack (backpack doesn't count as one of the 5 items).
Here are some possible items:
a banana
a dowsing rod
a dinghy
a dog
a bra
abracax
a full Thanksgiving dinner
an artificial limb (player's choice)
an iPod
a grappling hook
bedbug repellant
bigblugg repellant
a tin of creosote
a hovercraft
a screaming child with a dirty diaper
Goats (the Mod)
Goats (the herbivore)
Goats cheese
a kitana
a kite
a kitten
What 5 would you pick to survive?
Well, let's see...first of all, there was either some massive tragedy like a tsunami that stripped half my stuff away or I was mugged and dropped out here, or else you forgot to mention that I have my purse with me. Because you see, I ALWAYS have my purse with me.
Since you didn't say I was soaking wet and half-drowned and surrounded by sodden furniture and stray livestock, I'm going to assume it wasn't a tsunami. Since you said nothing about me avoiding the manhunt for me after I killed a man, I will assume the mugging is also not the basis of this scenario. Therefore, I assume, logically, that I DO have my purse and you just neglected to mention it.
Since I have my purse with me, I will proceed with my survival plans.
First, I will take one of the two mylar emergency blankets from my purse. I will cut it in half, using half to create a lean-to shelter with tree limbs and the half-blanket as a tarp. I will reserve the other half for now. The second blanket I will wrap in at night to stay warm.
Next, I will have a little snack with one of the power bars I always carry. Gotta keep up your energy! I'll stay hydrated with the water bottle I have and I will work on rigging up access to fresh water for refills.
I'll collect some firewood and start a lovely little fire with the lighter from my purse. Should I need to use the "facilities" behind a bush, I do have a kleenex pack in there that should suffice for needed hygiene issues.
Now, I burn easily, so in the daytime I will put some moisturizer with sunblock on my exposed skin. Chapstick is also good and I will be sure to use that. I actually have a suture set in here, so I'll be using that to fish if I am near water of any type. Mmmm, fresh fish is the best!
After dinner, I'll pull out a paperback and read a bit before snuggling up in my shelter, wrapped in my blanket, beside the fire. Should I want a little treat, I will munch on the emergency chocolate from the hidden compartment in my purse. (Yes, all women have that. No, we won't show you.)
In a few days, if I've not been rescued, it's time to decide: Do I attempt to make my way to civilization and help, or do I impale Boleslav's head on a stick and go native? Ah...decisions, decisions.
I'm lost in the Forest, and I have the items listed.
I would simply exit the Holodeck, and go to the bridge to tell the Captain that there's a problem on the Holodeck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boleslav
- abracax
- a full Thanksgiving dinner
- an iPod
- a screaming child with a dirty diaper
- Goats (the Mod)
^ Those ... and I'm all set.
Holyschnappermollymagicpurse! http://www.amperordirect.com/mm5/web...s/surprise.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by FoxyBunneh
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fallbreeze
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boleslav
Quote:
Originally Posted by FoxyBunneh
*Continuing the deep sighs*Quote:
Originally Posted by Jurnis
*Shaking head, laughing, drinking coffee*
You people need to start your own TV talk show....
FallB, a reason to be there? Fine, you just woke up in the middle of the forrest. No idea how you got there.
FoxyB, WTF? A suture set in your purse? Who the f ARE you???? OMG....
Foxy is SkyNet. Skynet is capable of almost anything. Beware of what you say to Foxy...or she'll maul you with her mettalic teeth, while transmitting a virus to your laptop...
Foxy lost her skynet powers one night. I believe she was walking around minding her own business when someone came up out of nowhere injected her brain with nanobots. The nanobots then began to eat away her computer part of the brain(which housed her skynet powers). She later awoke finding her self stripped of her powers and now is just another person like me and u :(.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jurnis
That was only one sub-server, and that has yet to be rebuilt.
Trust me, the Foxy is everywhere...I swear it!!!
First of all, get out of my yard you **** kids before I decide to go hunting.Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
can u add child**** to the list of things in the backpack please? thanks :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
Dude.... ALL women carry suture sets in their purse... women are the master's in making sure that if they are in an emergency situation, we have the tools necessary to get us out of that emergency situation...
This is just common knowledge....
That sounds suspiciously pedophilic. Perhaps you would like to rephrase that statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by SIGMA [1s1k]
I would notice I was just at home watching Tv. So I would either turn it off or see if the poor soul on the tv does what Elusive Death says or not ;). And I agree with Alusair your post sounds a bit suspicious Sigma..... :/
Why is that? In case the ladies need to stitch up their boyfriends?Quote:
Originally Posted by gottibabe1
Well, I have an endotracheal tube and a scalpel in there too. But they didn't seem necessary for this survival scenario. I should totally have been on Let's Make a Deal. You know the part where the host comes out to the audience and asks someone if they have something crazy on them? I'd win. Hands down.
i would simply call in my pet pterodactyl and fly to safety.
I leave the forest and go to a hotel. I use my credit card (nice of you to let me have one) and stay there for the night. I then withdraw some money and hitch a taxi home.Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
i stab the cedar trees, i stab the pine trees, i stab the light jacket, i stab the shirt, i stab the boots, i stab the mountainous terrain, and i somehow stab the pocket knife.Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
Thanks for the knife
^I would pay good money to see you attempt to stab the pocket knife with the pocket knife. i am sure it would be hours upon hours of entertainment. but wait till i am so farking drunk, so common sense is useless to me. k?
"Day one:Quote:
Originally Posted by japanpimp
Gruelling sun blasting down on my face, making sleep impossible.
Must get up. dammit/
Pick out two suitable pebbles. Pop in mouth to disway thirst.
Check empty beercan for any sustenance. None. The gods of brew have left me. Must fight depression at all cost.
"Look around for some useful items:
Find;
Obsidian
Beer can
Thin flat rock
Scorpions under the thin flat rock
Cedar Branch to bust-down-squash-kill the scorpions under thin flat rock
Pinyon seeds by the handfuls
Berries, next to the Hemlock bushes
Prickly pear cacti
RidgeLighterPine
Yucca Cacti
SideWinder Rattly Snake curled up behind the Yucca Cacti, and his/her brothers/sisters near by
Longer Pine Branch to bust the heads of the RattlySideWinder Family.
"Day one and a quarter:
*Spend most of the noon time bustin heads on Rattlers and Scorpions.
*Spend remainder of the afternoon collecting berries, pinyon seeds, firewood, prickly "OUCH sombich tinsy needle like sombixhes" pear buds.
*Make fire circle out of nearby rocks, laying thin flat rock inbetwixt towards the side of the center of the ring.
*Remove the cotton like fiber from the yucca cactus in clumps
*Fashion clumps in a 'birds nest'
*Make a T-Pee type fire setup using gathered tender, dry pine needles, gathered twigs, sticks, branches and finnally the ridge lighter pine stump.
*Slam Obsidian hunk on rocks to bust up into usable fragments.
*Pray my Daily Prayers
*Eat some dem berries for i be getting the hunger shakes, careful not to swallow the pebbles i'd been sucking on for to disway thirst.
*Get hold of the fiber birds nest, and put a piece of the shattered Obsidian flake in it.
*Use pocket knife to "Strike" at the obsidian flake, for to fly sparks into the fiber birds nest, several times till one little spark sets in...
*Blow gently on spark in birds nest to be getting it to glow a rasberry red.
*Seeing puffing smoke, place birds nest underneath Pre-positioned T-Pee looking kindlin
*Blow even more gently till heat be aflaming on my fire wood placement
*Exccel at giving Glory to God when flames lick and lap at the center of the T-pee
*Prepare feast of Snakes and Scorpions and Pinyon Seeds and Prickly Pear buds by:
*Skinning the snakes
*Skewering the Scorpions
*Shish-Ka-Bobbing the Prickly Pear Buds
*and placing the Pinyon seeds on the thin flat rock refered to earlier.
*whilst all be a cooking, prepare for the night
*Setting up a lean-to beweaved with pine bows and laying cedar nedles for a mat. (cedar keeps the bugs at bay, btw)
*Afterwards, i would be eating a king's feast of Snakes Scorpiaon' Purple pear de jour, and other french sounding verba'ge.
*Filled to fatness i would bank the fire for the next days coals and prepare the beer can for to make char-cloth.
[pm me for day two]
Just watch the tv show man vs wild b4 u go 2 the middle of nowhere. That way u donnt gotta worry about surviving :P
I'd like to rephrase my answer.
I leave the forest.
I'd build more forest.