Help Me, Please.

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10-20-2010, 05:06 PM
Montros

Help Me, Please.

About a week ago, I met this girl. Very Japan-oriented, loves anime, Japaneses music, nice, kind, and funny. Of course, she wasn't Japanese, but she was caucasian.

Now, I like her, she likes me. Yesterday, we decided to start going out. Bad choice.

Why? After that, I decided that I wanted to get to know her better, which meant that I wanted to keep our relationship as "Friends".

Then, she went a bit... "Off". She started to become depressed. She cried, begging me to stay with her, telling me that I was her "Prince", and she was a "Princess" (For the record, she was completely sober). She continued on about other obsesive things about me, how I was all she wanted in a guy, how she wouldn't be the same without me, etc. I was creeped out.

Now, I'm struggling between the thought of breaking up, or staying in the relationship. And I've turned to you guys and gals. What's your opinion?

PS: She's a Japan fanatic. Loves the Akihabara.
10-20-2010, 05:07 PM
Nesterus

Teach her how to dougie

and stay with her, it is good to have someone who cares about you
10-20-2010, 05:09 PM
trogdor1316

Ask people who have actual relationship experience.

Hint: Internet forums are bad places to look for this type of person.
10-20-2010, 05:12 PM
Nesterus

I can give good sound advice, I am like Dr. Phil

Montros what were you thinkin?

talk to me on skype if you have it.
10-20-2010, 05:13 PM
Cosmic Fury

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

stay with her, it is good to have someone who cares about you

Exactly what he said.

If you feel too uncomfortable around her, and your relationship goes awry, all you have to do is tell her.

It's the best thing to do...trust me on this.
10-20-2010, 05:25 PM
DoubleM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

About a week ago, I met this girl. Very Japan-oriented, loves anime, Japaneses music, nice, kind, and funny. Of course, she wasn't Japanese, but she was caucasian.

Now, I like her, she likes me. Yesterday, we decided to start going out. Bad choice.

Why? After that, I decided that I wanted to get to know her better, which meant that I wanted to keep our relationship as "Friends".

Then, she went a bit... "Off". She started to become depressed. She cried, begging me to stay with her, telling me that I was her "Prince", and she was a "Princess" (For the record, she was completely sober). She continued on about other obsesive things about me, how I was all she wanted in a guy, how she wouldn't be the same without me, etc. I was creeped out.

Now, I'm struggling between the thought of breaking up, or staying in the relationship. And I've turned to you guys and gals. What's your opinion?

PS: She's a Japan fanatic. Loves the Akihabara.

You know i heard Boleslav could help you out really well with this. he has a thread on relationships.

But, since i am Dr. Phillgood i will help you out. Find someone handsomer than me yes i know that will be hard............... ok serious time.

let her down easy so your shirt isn't wet with her tears. this actually happened to someone last year at school. so theres this ugly, ugly, girl and she chases every guy she likes our with hormones it would be a crush. it was a class mate he was in 7th grade with me and she was in 8th grade. the girl chased him down untill he said yes. so what he did was say yes so she would say there going out but to his self they really were not. so you could possibly do that. however, when he got tried of her being clingy he told her he wanted to break up, she got mad, tried to slap him he ran and she still tried to slap him but the art teacher(hes a fail teacher you can brake all the rules with him) saw it and but told her to get to class because there was only a little time left to get to the next class. but yes there were some things he did before he decided to "break up" with her. one was he tried to avoid her, didn't work. two he tried to take another route to get to class but of course she was still in the hall. thats the only help i have to offer.
10-20-2010, 05:32 PM
trogdor1316

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knuckles

Jurnis i think we need your leadership as a mod again.

Jurnis is a communist.
10-20-2010, 05:47 PM
Morgan le Fay

I don't know what's more freaky someone asking for relationship advice on a game's forum or the guys actually replying.

Hmm however, to the problem at hand I would go with the honest approach, then try to keep your distance.

The friends approach will only give her hope, not fair on either of you.

I really need to take my own advice sometimes. Oh well I did try and have a life once........
10-20-2010, 05:48 PM
Montros

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

I can give good sound advice, I am like Dr. Phil

Montros what were you thinkin?

talk to me on skype if you have it.

Bad. She follows my every move on Skype.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jurnis

Exactly what he said.

If you feel too uncomfortable around her, and your relationship goes awry, all you have to do is tell her.

It's the best thing to do...trust me on this.

Trust? You? On? THIS???

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoubleM

You know i heard Boleslav could help you out really well with this. he has a thread on relationships.

But, since i am Dr. Phillgood i will help you out. Find someone handsomer than me yes i know that will be hard............... ok serious time.

let her down easy so your shirt isn't wet with her tears. this actually happened to someone last year at school. so theres this ugly, ugly, girl and she chases every guy she likes our with hormones it would be a crush. it was a class mate he was in 7th grade with me and she was in 8th grade. the girl chased him down untill he said yes. so what he did was say yes so she would say there going out but to his self they really were not. so you could possibly do that. however, when he got tried of her being clingy he told her he wanted to break up, she got mad, tried to slap him he ran and she still tried to slap him but the art teacher(hes a fail teacher you can brake all the rules with him) saw it and but told her to get to class because there was only a little time left to get to the next class. but yes there were some things he did before he decided to "break up" with her. one was he tried to avoid her, didn't work. two he tried to take another route to get to class but of course she was still in the hall. thats the only help i have to offer.

I hate your grammar. Thanks for the random set of words.
10-20-2010, 05:52 PM
trogdor1316

Monty, tell her to git-fo. Why should you care how she feels about you? If she gets depressed, it's her fault for thinking you were worth it.
10-20-2010, 05:55 PM
Montros

Quote:

Originally Posted by trogdor1316

Monty, tell her to git-fo. Why should you care how she feels about you? If she gets depressed, it's her fault for thinking you were worth it.

...Was that helpful? I think you just said that I'm not worth it.

Why don't we get some females out here? Enough with the dude-talk.
10-20-2010, 06:02 PM
Kanyeezy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

...Was that helpful? I think you just said that I'm not worth it.

Why don't we get some females out here? Enough with the dude-talk.

Females? On the internet?
10-20-2010, 06:04 PM
trogdor1316

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

...Was that helpful? I think you just said that I'm not worth it.

Why don't we get some females out here? Enough with the dude-talk.

I was being serious. If you let her hang around you for too long, she'll just get her hopes up even further and be even more hurt when you dump her for good.

Better to stop any possibility of a relationship now.

A clean break heals the quickest.
10-20-2010, 06:19 PM
Elusive_Death

This question should have been asked to Bole:duh::duh::duh:
Edit: I would break up with her, my reason it is never good when a relationship turns toxic. This relationship sounds toxic because she seems to have an obsession with u rather than love. Hence the relationship wont work and it would be very mean to keep the relationship going cuz its causing her more damge if u really dont want to be with her.
10-20-2010, 07:19 PM
<3Sari<3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

About a week ago, I met this girl. Very Japan-oriented, loves anime, Japaneses music, nice, kind, and funny. Of course, she wasn't Japanese, but she was caucasian.

Now, I like her, she likes me. Yesterday, we decided to start going out. Bad choice.

Why? After that, I decided that I wanted to get to know her better, which meant that I wanted to keep our relationship as "Friends".

Then, she went a bit... "Off". She started to become depressed. She cried, begging me to stay with her, telling me that I was her "Prince", and she was a "Princess" (For the record, she was completely sober). She continued on about other obsesive things about me, how I was all she wanted in a guy, how she wouldn't be the same without me, etc. I was creeped out.

Now, I'm struggling between the thought of breaking up, or staying in the relationship. And I've turned to you guys and gals. What's your opinion?

PS: She's a Japan fanatic. Loves the Akihabara.

In order to respond to his I have few questions of my own:
1) how OLD are you??
2) Why did you feel the need to mention and even PS that she was an anime freak? I dont see how this is pertinent to the story? (and again begs thequestion how OLD are you?!)
3)You decided to date and only befriends in 24 hours after one date? is this like an online thing?
4) why on earth would ask these people?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

Teach her how to dougie

AGREED!
10-20-2010, 08:16 PM
Montros

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elusive_Death

This question should have been asked to Bole:duh::duh::duh:
Edit: I would break up with her, my reason it is never good when a relationship turns toxic. This relationship sounds toxic because she seems to have an obsession with u rather than love. Hence the relationship wont work and it would be very mean to keep the relationship going cuz its causing her more damge if u really dont want to be with her.

That helps a bit. :)

But she said she didn't love me because I was Japanese, but because I had a good personality (She's judging me for the first week she's known me. For the record, I'm actually a total *******).
And I told her that I wanted to stay as her friend for that exact reason. I didn't want her to be dissapointed after she got to know the real me, and hurt her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by <3Sari<3

In order to respond to his I have few questions of my own:
1) how OLD are you??
2) Why did you feel the need to mention and even PS that she was an anime freak? I dont see how this is pertinent to the story? (and again begs thequestion how OLD are you?!)
3)You decided to date and only befriends in 24 hours after one date? is this like an online thing?
4) why on earth would ask these people?!

AGREED!

1. I'm in High School.
2. I didn't say that she was a freak. I just said that she was very interested in anime. Heck, I bet most of the people here love anime as much as she does.
3. We didn't date. She just asked me out, I said yes just in case, and thought about it for a while before landing on the conclusion that she and I both needed to think about it.
4. Because I've known these people for over two years. Most of my RL friends are horrible at keeping secrets, and I know none of you go to my school.

Actually, I'm starting to think you may have something to do with this... WHATS YOUR REAL NAME???
10-20-2010, 08:28 PM
<3Sari<3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

That helps a bit. :)

But she said she didn't love me because I was Japanese, but because I had a good personality (She's judging me for the first week she's known me. For the record, I'm actually a total *******).
And I told her that I wanted to stay as her friend for that exact reason. I didn't want her to be dissapointed after she got to know the real me, and hurt her.

1. I'm in High School.
2. I didn't say that she was a freak. I just said that she was very interested in anime. Heck, I bet most of the people here love anime as much as she does.
3. We didn't date. She just asked me out, I said yes just in case, and thought about it for a while before landing on the conclusion that she and I both needed to think about it.
4. Because I've known these people for over two years. Most of my RL friends are horrible at keeping secrets, and I know none of you go to my school.

Actually, I'm starting to think you may have something to do with this... WHATS YOUR REAL NAME???

According to your narrative and reasons and expanations...don't date. wait two or three more years
10-20-2010, 08:31 PM
SebazSkillz

What Sari said but first...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

Teach her how to dougie
10-20-2010, 08:37 PM
WarSimi

and for future references don't say you'll start dating some one and then change your mind so quick.

She plucked up courage to ask you, so obviously she had strong feelings for you, which you intensified by saying yes to her proposition.
Now you went and changed your mind so suddenly, and you don't see it as your own fault for her current actions?
You should at least man up and try it, you seemingly got yourself into this mess, the least you could do is try.
10-20-2010, 08:38 PM
Nesterus

you can also contact me on yahoo my name is mnester123 if you really want some mature coherant advice, I can help you
10-20-2010, 08:40 PM
*jdm*

you flip flop fast dude
10-20-2010, 08:43 PM
Moghedien

Montros was this girl Japanpimp...
10-20-2010, 08:55 PM
Zen Master

what do i have to say to this

1st off let me apologize to you montros because i loled a little reading your thread starter because i was visualizing the situation

ive been in your situation a BUNCH of times theres a easy solvable way through this theres multiple way let call them ZEN options

Zen option number 1
you could always distance yourself from here slowly and creae a distant friend relationship if thats what you want

Zen option number 2
if you want to be with her treat her better then shes been treated as you know shes probly had it tough in relationships

Zen option number 3
tell her waht you feel and that you like her and want to get to know her better as a friend

Zen option number 4
lie tell her lies to make her feel better and explain the inconvience you have right now in your life and distance yourself

Zen option number 5
What i would probably do if i were you
i am a nice guy so i would cheer her up with laughter and take her out and hang with her but i wouldnt go out with her as a couple it would be friendly and everything on me

ive been in your situations and just so you know if you do keep her around as a friend seperate her from any future relationships they will get jealous nd turn sour
listen to her and ask about her
10-20-2010, 09:08 PM
trogdor1316

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

She's judging me for the first week she's known me. For the record, I'm actually a total *******.

For the record, most of the people who claim to be total ******bags end up being pretty nice guys, at least to those few who don't end up ****ing them off.
10-20-2010, 09:12 PM
BigBlugga

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

Teach her how to dougie

and stay with her, it is good to have someone who cares about you

Couldn't have answered better myself.
10-20-2010, 09:17 PM
Boleslav

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montros

I decided that... Loves the Akihabara.

It's been a week. That's not enough time to get to know someone very well, unless the two of you are hiking some mountain trail together in a two man tent.

You need to end this relationship now. Firstly, neither of you really knows what you want from the relationship. Secondly, you don't respect her. Thirdly, she seems somewhat unstable from your description. There is only once smart decision to make here.
10-20-2010, 09:30 PM
TrulySorry

I reccomend getting a few of your friends and introducing them to her....See if she likes any. If she does,keep getting the two together,if not have fun with your new wifey=p.

( This could either work amazingly well or it could blow up in your face)
10-20-2010, 09:32 PM
trogdor1316

Montros, you're worrying too much about her feelings. They aren't as important as your own. Always remember this. sarcasm
10-20-2010, 09:33 PM
Moghedien

Don't get a partener that does not want you to hang out with your friends. They are usually overly jeaoulous and clingy.
10-20-2010, 09:38 PM
Elusive_Death

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moghedien

Don't get a partener that does not want you to hang out with your friends. They are usually overly jeaoulous and clingy.

and cheaters
10-20-2010, 09:43 PM
Nesterus

you guys give horrible advice im sorry
10-20-2010, 09:45 PM
trogdor1316

You're not sorry.
10-20-2010, 10:01 PM
<3Sari<3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

you guys give horrible advice im sorry

Agreed.
I think the last bunch had nothin to do with the problem presented.
Also. I think this kis is like..12..
10-20-2010, 10:02 PM
TrulySorry

My answer probably didnt have anything to do with the OP....Im sleepy lol
10-20-2010, 10:47 PM
Alusair

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nesterus

stay with her, it is good to have someone who cares about you

My first reaction is to disagree actually. Though I won't claim Montros should necessarily follow my advice, I will say from personal experience that in relationships with emotional vampires (of which she gives me the immediate impression), you ultimately lose more than you gain.

But maybe that's not the case here. Take my comment with a grain of salt, if you will.
10-21-2010, 12:09 AM
imnothere

also weighing in from the female side of the court, i would say she is desperate. now hold your offended feeling for a moment, i'm not saying she is desperate because she wants you, i'm saying based on her reaction to your quick change of mind she is in a desperate situation. now sad and painfull as this is to say (even on the interwebs) i've been where she is. (it was a mega long time a go before any of you were born!!!) and the best thing for her is in this situation the best thing for you as well.
its also the hardest thing.

she needs a friend. she needs someone who can help her pull her self esteem out of the clogged toilet it is slowly choking to death in. now other people will tell you that you can pull it out for her, not the case. only she can do that. but good friends help, friends who actually care weather or not you get up and come to school make all the difference in that kind of dieing world.
BUT
you cant let her pin her hopes and dreams and life on your head. you cant allow her to emotionally black mail you into doing anything EVEN IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
that's where it gets really really hard, it takes a massively strong person to say "well i wanted to do this for you, and i was going to do this for you, but now that you have emotionally black mailed me into it i cant. because i respect you too much as a person to let you put me in a position where i will loose respect for you. and if you continue with this emotionally black mailing behavior i cant stay with you even as a friend."

you see it has to be black and white that you do want to stay her friend ( you do want that right? i did infer that correctly?) and it also has to be black and white what your problem with the relation ship is. (the problem is that she is emotionally black mailing you by saying "i cant live without you in my life") to continue to be her friend, and a true friend not just a shoulder to cry on and spare change for the buss, you have to be invested in her total well being. and that means NOT enabling this emotional black mailing thing shes got going on.

codependency is a hard habit to break. but with your help, maybe she can.
10-21-2010, 09:45 AM
Mudkipz2

Dude

You're a lucky, lucky guy
10-21-2010, 10:29 AM
Derick

Just run away!!
10-21-2010, 03:11 PM
Montros

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mudkipz2

You're a lucky, lucky guy

Most likely, yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derick

Just run away!!

She knows my locker. Too late now.
10-21-2010, 04:02 PM
Revoltion

Switch lockers with someone.

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