Maturity...when does it really happen?

I've often wondered this question to myself. When is one considered 'mature'?
When does this change happen?
How does it happen?
Why does it happen?

When I was 13, I thought I was pretty mature. Then when I was getting near 15, I thought, "wow, I can't believe what I was like back then, how did people put up with me? I can't believe I even thought I was mature..." and at that point I truly am mature.

Now I'm 16, getting close to 17. I think exactly the same thing. Perhaps to a less degree, but still the same thing. Sure, I became more mature, but I still doubt I would consider myself mature back then. The same applies to now.

I don't doubt for a second that we can always learn new things, and have new experiences, and so on, but at what point, or what makes a person mature? I am quite interested in hearing some opinions from the community on this. I'm sure everyone has a different defintion of maturity, whether it be a big, or small difference.

It happens at different ages for everyone and everybody has immaturity relapses at times. I think people mature when they are forced to become self-sufficient. I thought I was mature in high school, then I got to college and realized I wasn't. Then in my senior year of college, I thought I was again, relative to all the freshman at least.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion I probably won't reach the pinnacle of "mature" until I'm 60, and once I retire I plan to slide quickly back down the slope.

This is all so highly relative. And subjective.

I know it's something young people think and worry about, but don't put too much stock in this maturity thing. I'm not saying it doesn't exist mind you, just that it's not much of a big deal.

And really, what is it exactly? Experience? Equanimity? A combination of many things, different for every individual? If time itself bestows at least some to everyone, then don't worry. You'll get there soon enough. In fact, you won't believe how fast you got there, believe me...

So... Relative to individuals and societies, maturity is always many things to many people. One of it's 'lowest common denominator' however, I believe to be easier acceptance of the world's follies and aberrations. And an easier capacity to forgive those.

:)

Maturity??? Please, nobody ever grows up. Except perhaps the ones that have no fun. Glad I'm not in that group :D

Might be worth considering how maturity corresponds to self-sufficiency.

Well if your me you will never ever get there :D

Well i see mature people as adults and if your an adult you should be on your own in the world. So i guess maturity means being out of your parents/guardians house and supporting yourself.

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Originally Posted by Voulkos

Might be worth considering how maturity corresponds to self-sufficiency.

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I dunno... one can be self-sufficient without necessarily being mature..

Maturity is not an "age" thing. In fact its not something that anyone can completly answer.

Knowing right from wrong?
Knowing when to speak and when to shut up?
Knowing exactly what to and what not to say in each situation?
When to laugh and when to cry?
When to celebrate and when to console?

The list and questions go on and on ................


Nobody ever fits all the above or all the unsaid.... just be yourself, have a sense of humor, behave as you think is right and in a way you want to be treated. Be open minded to others opinions, accept that you can be wrong and most of all be honest to yourself and those who you encounter.

It is others who will deem you mature or moron!






Failing all the above.....

maturity is being able to consider both sides of an argument before insisting you are always right and they are always wrong!

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Originally Posted by LadyMariana

I dunno... one can be self-sufficient without necessarily being mature..

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Case in point me :D

Lol, I will never believe that :P

And we all know BigNorr is the all-knowing master of maturity.

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Don't derail please.

I remember you from server 2, back in beta, and it seems you haven't changed one bit. The horrible memories...

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some folks call it a slingblade, I call it a kaiser blade

I don't like having to resort to asking mods to solve problems like this, but if need be I will.

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lets be mature about this

See, the way to deal with Nesterus is this, can you see this part here, just under his chin? See, he can't reach that himself to scratch it, so if you gently stroke his hair there *reaches under* then he'll remember you as a friend for next time.

... as an ontopic point, I certainly consider people 21 or younger to be kids. Snott made a great point above about maturity and age being different, but there's my 2cents.

Personally, I don't think maturity is a point you reach. I think as we grow older, gain responsibility, gain experience and develop emotionally, we become more wise. I think maturity is acknowledging and acting on that wisdom. Obviously, you are considered mature when you repeatedly act that way. Often times these actions require you consider others before yourself, consider not how you feel but how others feel. Maturity is learning to accept events or situations, no matter their effect on you, and taking them in the most emotionally healthy way possible. Maturity is learning to move on, not to spite others or prove a point, but to move on for your own sake. Maturity is learning to let go, and understanding why we must do so. Maturity is understanding why some things matter so much, like respect and thoughtfulness, like family and pride, as well as learning why other things don't matter so much, like revenge or money, like image and reputation. It is the process of learning to appreciate things, things you have had since you were born, and things that people do for you. It is forgiving, even when it is the last thing you feel like doing.

Maturity is not a point you will reach, it is a skill you gain.

I've never looked at maturity as a skill before, but I see exactly what you mean. At times people are mature, and at times they are immature, but sometimes there are times for both. Sometimes, we want to act our true age, and sometimes we want to act younger, if you get what I mean.

Well, I wouldn't consider goofing off being immature, but yes I understand.

I don't mean to say that it is immature, but acting like some immature people would. Or maybe I just word things horribly.

Maturity is a phase in life many desire but I dislike. Staying young forever is my dream.

maturity is just another label imposed upon you by society who hopes for you to act as they wish you to act


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follow this bird's example

And your serious opinion Nesterus?
Or is that actually your serious opinion?

I can agree with it.

where is it decreed that I must be serious?

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Obviously, you are considered mature when you repeatedly act that way.

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I would like to draw attention to this one particular sentence out of SbD's reply. In particular to one word. What is this about "acting" mature? So judging by the way we commonly phrase it, I am beginning to wonder whether everything is just an act, including maturity. We "act" like we're older, "act" like we're wise, but maybe it is just out nature to "act" goofy.
I get what you guys are trying to say here, but I believe this is an interesting way to steer this conversation.

It is indeed an interesting way.
I am yet to comment on this, I will have to think on it.

He's partly right. Being mature is a status to many, and the status requires certain behavior.



Thorn: I normally do not act in a way that does not reflect my feelings or thought process. Most people don't, either. I assume you are the same way, your actions reflect how you feel and think. That is why I included the point about acting mature as well as several points about the metaphysical side of maturity. It is implicit that you act mature because you are having mature thoughts.

But are we really describing ourselves properly as human beings, as living, thinking, feeling, comprehending beings, if we always state how we "act"? So is everything just a performance based on what we are taught by our elders as we grow, and how we are influenced socially by our peers in all settings?
I am obviously using a particular definition of the word "act" here, but all the same. Are we truly ourselves if we are always "acting"?

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Originally Posted by Arathorn136

But are we really describing ourselves properly as human beings, as living, thinking, feeling, comprehending beings, if we always state how we "act"? So is everything just a performance based on what we are taught by our elders as we grow, and how we are influenced socially by our peers in all settings?
I am obviously using a particular definition of the word "act" here, but all the same. Are we truly ourselves if we are always "acting"?

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You are warping the meaning of act into something more or less like pretend. This was not the way I intended it to be interpreted.

I am not always acting, so I would say I am myself. By describing how I act, I describe not how I pretend throughout the day, but what my actions are.

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Originally Posted by SickbyDefinition

You are warping the meaning of act into something more or less like pretend. This was not the way I intended it to be interpreted.

I am not always acting, so I would say I am myself. By describing how I act, I describe not how I pretend throughout the day, but what my actions are.

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I know it was not necessarily the way you intended, but I am merely providing another view point on the matter. What I am trying to get to is that in my opinion I think we need to coin a better term for use when we describe our behavior. Maybe I just said it there. "Behave" might be a better term than "act" when we describe our "actions", despite the fact that "act" is the root word of "action".
It just depends on how you look at it. I also probably depends on the depth of one's knowledge of the English language, which may sway one to comprehend a sentence or phrase differently than one who does not have a strong of a grasp of the language.

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Originally Posted by Arathorn136

It just depends on how you look at it. I also probably depends on the depth of one's knowledge of the English language, which may sway one to comprehend a sentence or phrase differently than one who does not have a strong of a grasp of the language.

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Deliberately misinterpreting people's sentences really doesn't make your grasp of the language seem any better. It just seems rude.

Because the OED is mega cool:

Act: An Etymology

Latin root: actum Things done.
agere To set in motion, urge chase. From Greek: agein.
Later: actum, acte: Play

14c: "A Thing Done" from Old French acte (English meaning)

Theatrical, circa 1510: "part of a play."

In the English language, "set in motion", "behavior", "Things done" supersedes play-acting for the meaning of the word act.

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Originally Posted by Arathorn136

I know it was not necessarily the way you intended, but I am merely providing another view point on the matter. What I am trying to get to is that in my opinion I think we need to coin a better term for use when we describe our behavior. Maybe I just said it there. "Behave" might be a better term than "act" when we describe our "actions", despite the fact that "act" is the root word of "action".
It just depends on how you look at it. I also probably depends on the depth of one's knowledge of the English language, which may sway one to comprehend a sentence or phrase differently than one who does not have a strong of a grasp of the language.

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The two words are one in the same. I think my statement was quite clear.
However, I'm not sure why you haves changed the topic from the meaning of the word maturity to the meaning of the word act. Let's stay on topic please. :princess:

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Originally Posted by Mati2

Deliberately misinterpreting people's sentences really doesn't make your grasp of the language seem any better. It just seems rude.

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Perhaps interpretation also has to do with maturity.

Interpretation and how you interpret interpretation ( sounds weird ) is a big part of maturity, anything can be immature if looked at in a certain way.

I was about to say anything can be looked at as mature if looked at in a certain way. But that's not true. What you say Baldy is true, within reason.

Maturity in my opinion isnt something that comes, it is something that is built on. No matter your age you are constantly maturing to different levels. To say that one is mature is inaccurate in my opinion, because it sounds as if the have reached the absolute height of maturing.

Agreed though death, anything if looked by the right person, can be looked upon as mature or immature.

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Originally Posted by Mati2

Deliberately misinterpreting people's sentences really doesn't make your grasp of the language seem any better. It just seems rude.

Because the OED is mega cool:

Act: An Etymology

Latin root: actum Things done.
agere To set in motion, urge chase. From Greek: agein.
Later: actum, acte: Play

14c: "A Thing Done" from Old French acte (English meaning)

Theatrical, circa 1510: "part of a play."

In the English language, "set in motion", "behavior", "Things done" supersedes play-acting for the meaning of the word act.

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I wasn't trying to make a specific point about anyone in particular, nor say that my grasp of the English language is better than anyone else's. I was merely stating that if you don't know the language as well, it would cause you to have a different perspective of things, causing the way you express something to be different also.
For example, if a Japanese person that didn't know much of the English language heard a word that they only know one definition of (yet, say there were a few definitions of the said word), it would cause their interpretation of it to be different as they can't put the word into context as well.
It's just a perspective that I hardly expect any of you to follow.

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Originally Posted by SickbyDefinition

The two words are one in the same. I think my statement was quite clear.
However, I'm not sure why you haves changed the topic from the meaning of the word maturity to the meaning of the word act. Let's stay on topic please. :princess:



Perhaps interpretation also has to do with maturity.

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Perhaps it does, yet when one is mature they ought to have the ability to interpret something a multitude of different ways, making them more wise than one who is narrow-minded and can't view things from another's shoes.

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