Printable View
my reasons for asking shall remain unspoken for now....
the question is...who thinks it is right, or wrong, to discipline children with a good smack every now and then when they do something wrong? this used to be an acceptable method in bringing up a child but now it is frowned upon and generally thought of as a bad thing.
spare the rod, spoil the child
my mom never hit me she gave me isolation for a certain period of time
Hitting with anger is never good. Whether it is a simple smack on the bum or a full blown hit. I don't think people realize that it is the emotional side of the physical action that actually hurts children, unless you just start wailing on the kid. And yes, even "time outs" can be more harmful than a simple smack on the behind if the parent directs a lot of anger towards the kid.
A good smack every now and then when they get out of line is ok with me (on the behind). It's the emotional intent I got an issues w/ as well as if u just knock the sh*t out of the kid.
because a belt doesnt hurt at allQuote:
Originally Posted by desk
I see no wrong with physical punishment. However, I prefer rewards over punishments altogether. People are willing do things if they can get something out of it. Punishments can only grow resentment later on.
just to be clear i'm not talking about hitting a child in anger because the poor kid kicked the football against your brand new BMW by accident. more like a smack on the a$$ or leg for something like letting your neighbors car tyre down to let them know that its not acceptable behavior.
I'd would never hit a child. But, maybe I can only say that because I don't have any.
Quote:
Originally Posted by *jdm*
Yes a belts hurt, but emotional harm is far worst and felt a lot longer in most people on average. Sometimes a child doesn't ever need to be hit to still have emotional issues as grown ups. I never said physical punishment doesn't hurt, i said that the emotional pain caused by the actions are usually a lot worst.Quote:
Originally Posted by desk
Twist it anyway you want, that was the point i was making though. It shouldn't be surprising either.
It all depends really, no child is the same as another, and while some might need the physical type of parenting (not saying full blown beat the child at all) others respond better to verbal or other types of punishment, or even no punishment at all. many times when you have already corrected a child it is better for one to simply not punish the child the second time (not saying turn a blind eye) because in this way their own conscious can grow and they might feel guilt on their own without any need for physical punishment. (but as i said before, all children are different.
As a no good hippy who likes to sponge off of society, I think that all violence is wrong. The reason being that I can only see hitting a child as a way of releasing frustration and anger, most probably because of the child's actions, but possible for other, unrelated things. I'd think that a good parent should be willing to actively seek advice on proper ways to discipline their children without having to resort to something like hitting them, or anything else that could cause physical or emotional pain. My mother hit me sometimes when I was a kid, even a few times as a teenager, and I see how badly it has affected me.
This is what I was getting at. Though I'm sure there were a lot of times your mother hit you and you may or may not remember and perhaps didn't really affect you in the long term.Quote:
Originally Posted by TCWNME
Btw, wats wrong w/ sponging off socitey? :rofl:
Being brought up the traditional "Asian" way of getting hit and yelled at for messing up and for getting bad grades, I could probably say that it doesn't work. The only thing it's done is make me more rebellious. My sister however, is a sweet little angel due to this. For other friends, it's also effective since they listen to just about everything their parents ask them to do without question. However, this causes obedience from fear, which isn't good for the relationship between the parents and the child.
I think that discipline through respect is much more effective than just physically punishing the child. In my martial arts class, everyone listens to our instructors, and all they need to do is speak a few words. If parents bring their children up to listen to them without needing to hit them or anything, then the children will more willingly follow their parents' wishes.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by *jdm*
Agree with aisukaze, it can make some children obedient but it can be the wrong kind of obedience. You can't make your child "good" by using fear, that's just like try to get peace by going to war. In my case I became more rebellious due to the violence, I am a very outspoken person who wants to talk things through yet my parents are the kind of people who just want me to do what they say and shut up for the rest of the time. *sigh* this has caused some small problems :D
not only did I get my butt whooped I would have to do things like walk 2 miles in the dark forest path of a mississippi gaming reserve to retrieve some animal pelt tied in a tree 20 feet up, and this was for taking a snickers bar out of a grocery store. I was only 8.
I think punishment like that builds character, but I loved the forest and climbing trees and the early exposure to pain gave me a great tolerance to it later on, from belts to fists to tree limbs
WARNING: If you are easily offended, CLOSE this comment IMMEDIATELY!!! It is NOT for the weak minded.
Yeah. Go ahead ya buncha softies. Keep on taking parental rights away. Give 'em to the state/govt/authority figures/etc, considering they're doing sucha GRAND job with the countries they run. :duh:
No matter what all of your opinions are? It is the parent's rights to do as they wish in disciplining their offspring, because, well, they created them. >period< What a CONCEPT!! It is NOONE else's business! A 13 y/o has PRIVACY rights??? Are you kidding me?!!? There's a reason children are not considered to be 'adults' until the age of 18 *I personally believe that age could be extended, but that's jmho*. They challenge authority, it's in their nature...it is up to the parents to correct them. A grocery store...a child is throwing a spoiled brat temper tantrum to get that da:modedit:mit piece of candy in the check out line. Parent stands there frozen in terror, everyone's watching. Staring! Don't you DARE spank your child *aka: get their attention back to the reality that they are NOT running things here*, because we ALL have CPS on speed dial if you DO! Sitting in a busy restaurant...child begins flinging their spaghetti across the table splatting some poor innocent childless couple across the back. Don't you DARE discipline your child!! For they are ALL watching your every move. You even TWITCH that hand to swat his/her hand for acting crazy in public!! :eek:
Too many nosey, sheltered, ridiculously feeble minded people think it's their business to put their nose where it does not belong. Inside the home of families.
People wonder what's wrong with society today. Well, darlins. Take a grand look at our youth and how this generation has been allowed to run amok and do as they please because they have parents with their hands tied with red tape. THANK YOU HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVISTS!! They don't HAVE to stay home and become productive people in society. They don't HAVE to finish their schooling. They don't HAVE to listen to authority. They don't HAVE to care about anyone but their selfish selves. Why?? "Authority" is so busy coddling our lazy, lack luster, no sense of direction/accountability/responsibility/priority children that they are throwing lil spoiled brat temper tantrums when they do not get their way and go shoot up other innocent children who DO have discipline in their homes.
Very touchy subject for me. Hurt your feelers?? Awwwww!! I feel soo sorry for you, here...take a tissue and go cry me a freakin river! I TOLD you to close out of here!
I cannot believe the whiney, snot-nosed creatures this up-coming generation has become. I'll tell you what. I was raised with discipline. In NO way was I treated with a heavy hand. But, I would NEVER disrespect my parents, or ANY adult for that matter, the way these snot nosed, meely-mouth lil punks do today! It would do their lily-white behinds some GOOD to be turned red! Might teach 'em that respect they've gone far too long without!
^^All of the above is stated in the tone of an American...Free? Questionable...but American nonetheless.
:mad:
*WARNING: Prime example of out of control youth*
http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z...ti/chicken.gif
GO CHICKEN GO!!
lol touchy are we kitti
Well this brings up a fantastic point. If this generation's kids are being brought up spoiled and selfish, then shouldn't we look at the generation that raised them to be this way? I know its tough to look at oneself and criticize but if a parent teaches a child to be spoiled and selfish, then it is those who raise them that are most at fault. I believe we call it taking responsibility.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti
We can really sit there and say its your fault that I taught you to be this way, unless we want to be completely hypocritical that is. At some point that kid will grow up and maybe they'll learn better or maybe not, who knows.
1950 - Go get a switch so I can beat yo ass.
1970 - I'll whack you with this spoon.
1990 - Timeout + habenero pepper + possible spanking
2010 - No computer for a week
I think we found the problem?
I agree with M Kitti 110% :)
If I said I 'wanted' something in a demanding tone, I would get a smack in the back of the head. Not a hurtful one, but one with enough power to remind me that my dad/mom was in charge, not me. I would then be corrected, and politely ask that I 'would like' something. So in a way, Skirata is right, because more often than not, I was rewarded for being respectful.
Nothing wrong with a good spanking now and again either... If I did something wrong, I get punished. Just like in the real world...
:duh: Pfffff! That's MY point, which you've completely missed *in red* Those who raised them? Who, exactly, would that be? Certainly not the parents. Oh NO! All that is holy forbid!! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by desk
Those who taketh away parental rights think they know how to raise someone ELSE's kid better than the parents who had them in the 1st place. Being spoiled and selfish is a direct result of disciplinary rights being stripped away. They wouldn't BE selfish if they were raised by the parents who created them, who held them in their infancy, who knows their every little heartache and disappointment throughout their youth, who knows what THEIR child is thinking/feeling just from looking into their eyes before they can even attempt to express themselves. Yeah. Who needs parents/discipline anyway??
Maybe it's your age, or lack of having raised children that gives some of you this line of reasoning? I dont know, it's certainly not my place to make assumptions, and frankly, it's none of my business. However, I am well versed when it comes to raising children AND dealing with those who seem to think they have a better handle on my children's life than I do.
I also find it extraordinarily humerous, that those in some sort of authoritive level in society can abruptly change from 'you do not have rights to know what your 13 y/o is in the hospital being treated for' ... *and in the very same breath* but would you please (1) Consent to mysterious treatment of your son/daughter? (2) PAY for it (3) Be legally responsible for whatever it was to get them in the situation that brought them here in the first place??? Yeah... Eff you parents! Please drive thru!
I'm done with this conversation, as you can tell, I'm a bit sensitive. :o Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. *as long as it's not your parents guiding you to have your own opinion that is*
Now...off to try to give Acer some Rep lovins cuz...yeah. I do believe you may have found somewhat of a solution/explanation *arrrrgh!! NOT THE WOODEN SPOOOON!! :oops:*
It was this punishment that broke me.Quote:
Originally Posted by acer5200
Being hit would just make me want to hit back...Which wouldn't be good for anyone..
did the state take your kids or something?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti
Nope......Quote:
Originally Posted by *jdm*
0_o no color??Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti
Yes...my kids DO have color o.O Prol'lem with THAT???:mad:
...whilst jdm is distracted upon my switchin up of his words, I go edit my post...
:o
My parents tried the no computer thing when I was in middle school. It never worked out for various reasons like I'd plug it back in while they were gone, go on the neighbor's wireless or block certain teachers from emailing my mom because she had an obvious password ... in retrospect, I feel bad for them, they put up with a lot.Quote:
Originally Posted by acer5200
Hit em hard once and you shouldn't need to again.
some interesting points all round....
the reason i asked this question was because the majority of individuals involved in the recent riots in England (London, Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester) were mostly youths, children that had not even left school yet (in England a lot of us leave school to start work aged 16)
I believe Mistress Kitti got it spot on. society has gotten slack on disciplining children.
I definitely see nothing wrong with a good swat when needed.
Most memorable punishment I received:
When I was 6, I was playing out in the street with my friends. It was commonplace when the wagon train was stopped. My Dad yelled out that it was time to come in for dinner. I said, "NO!" Before the word finished coming out of my mouth, I knew it was the mistake of a lifetime. who'd have thought that old fart could run so fast?!? Once I was caught, he dragged me back to where my friends were, pulled off his belt, pulled down my pants and taught me the wisdom of never telling him "No" again. I never did either.
Nowadays, he'd probably go to jail.
Great thread, btw! I'm amazed it didn't turn into a flame war.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti
CPS is about as worthless as the goverment running it. Should we have CPS to protect abused children ? ABSOLUTELY. Should CPS be investigating everything that gets complained about ? ABSOLUTELY, but only to ensure that abuse is not happening.
The problem with CPS is that these case workers get way too much authority. These case workers have the authority to walk into a school, question a child doing so in such a manor that will mislead the child to implicate the parent for wrong doing. All while the parent is not notified or present for such interview. They then have the authority to remove the child from his/her home and placed in the greatest foster home with other "abused" and miscontent children. GREAT IDEA.
Lets get back to the "time out" society though, answer these questions please
- should a child be able to throw a tantrem in a grocery store becuase they wanted that candy, without getting their butt busted ?
- should a child be able to yell and scream at thier parent because they didn't get their way without getting thier butt busted ?
- should a child be allowed to call his teacher a b*tch without getting their butt busted AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME ?
- should a child be able to tell his mother that she is a fat piece of sh*t, without getting slapped ?
Sorry if this hurts your feelings but I have and will again put my children in place IF they do something that warrents it, I don't care if it's in Walmart, church or at home.
My house has simple rules for physical discipline
- disrespect a parent and you're getting your a$$ whipped
- disrespect a teacher and you're getting your a$$ whipped (a teacher spends more time per day with our children and should be respected as such)
- hit a girl and you're getting your a$$ whipped
- show your a$$ in public and you'll get your a$$ whipped in public
My children are prime examples of this working, the last time I had to physically displine my 17 yr old son was 7 years ago when he disrepected his mother, when he picked himself up off the floor he knew never to do that again. My duagheters have been fairly good so far, at 15 and 10 I seriously can't recall the last time I've had to spank either of them. Lucky for them they never tested me on the public matter, but then again they know I'll do it.
Different forms of discipline works for different households, if you feel that time out works for you then great. Time out doesn't work in my house, but then again I refuse to use time out due to having to baby sit the time out generation after they commit crimes and end up in prison becuase Mom and Dad were either therapist's, crack addicts or just truely didn't care enough about thier children to provide appropriate discipline based on the situation.
But that is undeserving. Sometimes a parent can't get what they want. Hitting a child for not wanting to eat makes no sense bro.Quote:
Originally Posted by Newptor
I think a 'spanking' or 'whipping' is perfectly acceptable.
I got 'spanked' when I was a kid. And my parents did it in public. If I acted up in front of people, that's where I got my punishment. At the time, I thought it was so mean. Now, I think its the right thing to do. But I agree with physical punishment, though I do like rewarding people.
Steer away from political comments please.Quote:
Originally Posted by llloXolll
Darn you acer! I must spread some rep!Quote:
Originally Posted by acer5200
Hahahaha, I knew there was a reason I loved you kitti!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti
OH, and from your other post: We should just let the chickens raise the kids....
And you have such a good point xDQuote:
Originally Posted by Lucas101
Oooo, just like me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mati2
First they took away my computer. I plugged it back in. Then they took the powercord. Then I grabbed one from a spare computer at my mates house. They took away keyboard. I grabbed one from spare room. They set a password. I reset it when I was "doing my homework".
Ah the memories...oh wait that was like last year.
I was spanked when I was little and misbehaved. It didn't turn me violent, make me scared of my parents, emotionally scar me, or make me rebellious. If anything, it taught me that actions have consequences and that I should be responsible for my own behaviour.
Looking back, I'm glad I was spanked. I wouldn't have it any other way. I respect and love my parents and I know that feeling is mutual from them.
I'm sorry, but I've always felt it was the other punishments are the ones that just don't work. From my experiences, taking things away from kids is what turns them rebellious and makes them hateful towards parents, and I've never seen "go to your room and think about what you've done" be effective as the kids just play with the toys in their room or daydream until they're free to go cause trouble again.