Jokes

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a mirror on the bottom of a pool.

How many bullets does it take to kill a blonde? Depends on how hard she bites them.

All forums have this thread , so i thought evony needs one too****les are simple post 1 joke a day.

I`ll start :)

Mod Edit. Inappropriate.

LOL, good one. Heres mine:

Generous lawyer

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Good one :)

I post a 'weakly' pun over somewhere else every week. Might as well share here. I don't expect many people get them. Only one per week, though. >.>

Well there was this fisherman who swore that he caught better fish by painting a rock paisley and throwing it in the water, then using a pine needle as bait.

But he got yelled at by his preacher who said "Idiot! Don't you know you must never cast your swirls before pine!"

ha.........

Mod Edit. Inappropriate.

It Works Every Time!!!

A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera lashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt

All the good jokes I know are sexual or political in nature. :(