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Chuck norris
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
CAN U TOP THESE
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011 When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's really pushing the earth down.
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012 I beat Chuck Norris.
Now top that!
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13) i beat chuck norris and irovster at the same time (one handed) lol haha
it was easy!!!!!! lol
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014) Chuck Norris once entered a "Who has more testicales?" match with Lance Armstrong. ...Chuck Norris won by five.
015) Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
016) Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and kill.
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17 When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean, he doesnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd
18 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
19 The great wall of China was made to keep Chuck Norris out, it failed Horribly.
20 Chuck Norris makes Onions cry.
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21 There's no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold so he turned up the sun.
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22) Chuck Norris ate a rubix cube and crapped it out solved.
23) Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of CHuck Norris.
24) Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick so fast that his foot went back in time and hit Amelia Earnharts plane right out of the sky.
