Super rant

As you read this letter, you may feel confused at points. If you do, keep reading. The rationale underlying UMGE's claims is confusing. Fortunately, as you read the superfluity of examples about how UMGE has been trying to dress up its profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism, this letter will slowly begin to make some sense. The nub of what I intend to say here is that it once said that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the larcenous hands of stuporous, exploitative-to-the-core freebooters. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard it say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that UMGE claims that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. Perhaps it has some sound arguments on its side, but if so it's keeping them hidden. I'd say it's far more likely that UMGE wants all of us to believe that obscurantism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. That's why it sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.
UMGE is secretly planning to reduce meaningful political discussions to "my team versus your team" identity-based politics. I realize that that may sound rather conspiratorial and far-fetched to most people, which is why you need to understand that whenever I turn around I see UMGE forcing me to go crazy. To deny such a truth would be to deny the evidence of our own senses. At their mildest, UMGE's cop-outs still manage to assuage the hungers of its apologists with servings of fresh scapegoats. Then again, that notion has been popular for as long as negativism has existed. How can we trust UMGE if it doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, it is not only immoral but amoral.
Aberrant, money-grubbing publishers of hate literature are unable to see that UMGE should be forced to wear a scarlet "W" for "Wants to rub salt into our wounds". That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that UMGE has a strategy. Its strategy is to brand me as bilious. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with UMGE.
UMGE is absolutely determined to believe that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. If you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that UMGE would wipe out delicate ecosystems. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about UMGE could have made the same prediction.
UMGE's barbs have merged with phallocentrism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both place empty-headed ragamuffins at the top of the social hierarchy. And both misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of capricious, unstable imperialism. UMGE cannot tolerate the world as it is. It needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, it's not necessarily difficult to build a better world, a cleaner world, a safer world, and a saner world. We can begin simply by commenting on its initiatives. See? I told you it wasn't necessarily difficult. We just need to remember that UMGE looks primarily at a person's superficial qualities such as physiognomy and mannerisms. I, in contrast, consider how likely a person is to treat the blows of circumstance. That's what's important to me. Either way, it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about it and about hypothetical solutions to our UMGE problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that its penchant for collectivism chokes its judgment like tea leaves blocking a sink, and everyone with half a brain understands that.
You cannot suppose that UMGE would have the slightest compunction about ordering its backers to combine the most sordid avarice with the most invincible hatred of the very people who tolerate and enrich it, which makes it obvious to me that it has declared that it's staging a revolt against everyone who dares to exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. UMGE is revolting all right; the very sight of it turns my stomach. All kidding aside, its propaganda factories continuously spew forth messages like, "Individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin" and, "People prefer 'cultural integrity' and 'multicultural sensitivity' to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life". What they don't tell you, though, is that UMGE hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that UMGE claims that its campaigns are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. You should realize that absolutely no empirical evidence obtained by scientific means exists to support that claim. Alas, that doesn't stop UMGE from leading to the destruction of the human race.
For the most part, UMGE frequently engages in violent fantasies involving raving, stolid Luddites. Still, I'm willing to accept that UMGE cannot endure the world of reality and must take refuge in its shiftless fantasies. I'm even willing to accept that it is a big fan of interrogation and torture. But if it can one day make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families then the long descent into night is sure to follow. My prediction that UMGE would increase subservience to its monolithic engine of terrorism came true so quickly, so brutally, so horribly, that even I was stunned by the magnitude and viciousness of it all.
UMGE has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. It can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches UMGE's nostrils, it'll start talking about the joy of teetotalism and how it never engages in dictatorial, boisterous, or audacious politics. As you listen to UMGE's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice its hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that its gofers believe that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that UMGE is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities can believe anything, especially if it's false.
Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. Rather than persuade you myself that UMGE should stop playing verbal games and tell us what it really means, I decided to gather input from various independent observers: teachers, farmers, shopkeepers, doctors, and so forth. I've tried to get balanced and reasonably accurate views about UMGE's sordid objectives. For instance, a policeman I interviewed pointed out how UMGE says that it wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, UMGE always ends up turning the trickle of statism into a tidal wave.
Tell me something: Is Man to be free to follow his conscience and worship as he sees fit or must he accept a conscience and god provided to him by UMGE? The answer is almost completely obvious—this isn't rocket science, you know. The key is that I have never read anything UMGE has written that I would consider wise, logical, pertinent, reasonable, or scientific. Its statement that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy is no exception. What's more, it makes a lot of exaggerated claims. All of these claims need to be scrutinized as carefully as a letter of recommendation from a job applicant's mother. Consider, for example, UMGE's claim that it is uncivilized to question its blanket statements. The fact of the matter is that my only goal in writing this letter and others concerning UMGE is to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to prevent its meddlesome musings from spreading like a malignant tumor. Of that I am certain because I am not embarrassed to admit that I have neither the training, the experience, the license, nor the clinical setting necessary to properly improve the lot of humankind. Nevertheless, I do have the will to say "no" to UMGE's deceitful philosophies. That's why I contend that it somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that it can walk on water. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization.

Ever get the idea that you've been played for a fool? That you are nothing but a mark for con artists like UMGE? Well, that's why I need to tell you that UMGE's holier-than-thou attitudes represent a calculated assault on diversity within our community. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean UMGE personally for its beliefs or worldviews. But I do warrant that I must shout back at UMGE's propaganda. While UMGE is decidedly entitled to ignore good advice from intelligent people, if its attempts to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not nugatory nincompoops have spurred us to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of hidebound teetotalism, then UMGE may have accomplished a useful thing. UMGE ought to realize that the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. Unfortunately, it tends to utter so much verbiage about resistentialism that I can conclude only that UMGE believes that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. Unfortunately, as long as it believes such absurdities, it will continue to commit atrocities.
UMGE's cold, analytical approach to gnosticism doesn't take into account the human element. In particular, those who have been hurt by gnosticism know that UMGE really believes that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is it living in? I could give you the answer now but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that if it thinks that it can make me give in to the quacks, witch doctors, charmers, sorcerers and fortune tellers who tell us that the Universe belongs to it by right then it's barking up the wrong tree. UMGE has never disproved anything I've ever written. It does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, my only wonder is, Why does UMGE think that it is as innocent as a newborn lamb? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that its cock-and-bull stories reek of mercantalism. I use the word "reek" because it would have us believe that its den of thieves is looking out for our interests. To be honest, it has never actually said that explicitly, but if you follow its logic—what little there is—you'll see that this is its real point.
Pardon my saying so, but UMGE demands that we make a choice. Either we let it scrap the notion of national sovereignty or it'll help otiose vandals back up their prejudices with "scientific" proof. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that I, not being one of the many judgmental, covinous brutes of this world, don't care what others say about UMGE. It's still virulent, atrabilious, and it intends to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. Let's understand one fundamental fact: I despise everything about UMGE. I despise UMGE's attempts to perpetuate the nonsense known technically as the analytic/synthetic dichotomy. I despise how it insists that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Most of all, I despise its complete obliviousness to the fact that it wants to court an antihumanist minority of shiftless, jejune oafs. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis.
The salient point here is that if I had my druthers, UMGE would never have had the opportunity to pilfer the national treasure. As it stands, the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to give our propaganda fighters an instrument that is very much needed at this time. For what it's worth, unyielding rigidity is just as much a threat to the continuity of things as batty fogyism. So what's the connection between that and UMGE's smear tactics? The connection is that we must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because UMGE shouldn't incite racial hatred. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions scar little children's self-image.
I was, however, going to forget about the whole thing when it suddenly occurred to me that UMGE appears to have found a new tool to use to help it take us all on an absolutely reckless ride into the unknown. That tool is Lysenkoism, and if you watch it wield it you'll surely see why it talks a lot about nonrepresentationalism and how wonderful it is. However, it's never actually defined what it means. How can UMGE argue for something it's never defined? You know the answer, don't you? You probably also know that my sources tell me that UMGE intends to perpetuate myths that glorify demagogism by the end of the decade. Not on my watch! I am therefore calling upon all good citizens to present another paradigm in opposition to its crafty machinations. UMGE never stops boasting about its generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, its claimed magnanimousness is totally chimerical, and, furthermore, UMGE's drones have been running around recently trying to bring widespread death and degradation to millions of human beings across the face of the Earth. Meanwhile, UMGE has been preparing to lead us into an age of shoddiness—shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, the key to UMGE's soul is its longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. It dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, I want to thank UMGE for its policies. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how reprehensible UMGE can be.

As someone who is working hard to develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to comment on UMGE's suggestions, I must point out that UMGE's codices can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that UMGE is entirely puerile, as it has proved to my complete satisfaction. This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of UMGE's silly, disruptive plans for the future. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) UMGE may be sincere, but it is also sincerely anal-retentive. UMGE thinks that exclusivism is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately for it, it's wrong. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. UMGE wants to prevent us from complaining about unpleasant, ornery hellions. If it manages to do that, it'll have plenty of time to focus on its core mission: destroying our moral fiber. UMGE thinks I'm trying to say that the rigors that its victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over UMGE's head.
UMGE sometimes uses the word "parallelogrammatical" when describing its catch-phrases. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response. UMGE's generalizations express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of its dupes in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these irresponsible mafia dons in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. This march into frowzy absolutism is not happening by mere chance. It is not, as many wanton thought police insist, the result of the natural, inevitable course of things. It is happening as a direct result of UMGE's illogical personal attacks.
I am not mistaken when I say that I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that when I'm through with UMGE it'll think twice before attempting to scrawl pro-parasitism graffiti over everything. While it is not my purpose to incriminate or exculpate or vindicate or castigate, UMGE's précis have merged with snobbism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both replicate the most odious structures of contemporary life. And both saddle the economy with crippling debt. In summary, letting the worst classes of postmodernist astrologers I've ever seen advocate fatalistic acceptance of a vulgar new world order is unthinkable. Although UMGE would like us to believe that it knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli, it has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. Its bromides, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that I have reason to believe that it is about to rewrite and reword much of humanity's formative works to favor misoneism. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that UMGE is a serial exaggerator. If I were to be less kind, I'd say it's a liar. Either way, UMGE is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every brazen ideology finds expression in UMGE. UMGE would sell its soul in return for the possibility of wealth and status. And that's why I say to you: Have courage. Be honest. And complain about treacherous exponents of sensationalism. That's the patriotic thing to do, and that's the right thing to do. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Uh, who's the UMGE, now?

no, I have not been hacked...
This is a random rant that was made for fun...
it is quite so random that it is hard to follow...

Also, I am not implying umge is in any way related to evony, so please dont do anything to me. I am allergic to lawyers...
I just used umge because I knew it was a name people would know...
oh, and please move this to the stories category, thnx

I am utterly befuddled.

lol, this is meant to be a joke...
so if you are to do anything please just kill the thread...

Woah... that's a lot of text...

It's not just a lot. It's a WALL OF TEXT! Dun dun dun...

Wall of text. Nooooo!