Chuck Norris was in a knife fight once. The knife lost.
The Terminator movies were originally going to star Chuck Norris, but then the producer's realized it would just be a documentary, so the went with Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris picks one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris once popped a boner while lying on his stomach. He struck oil nine miles down.
Outer Space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has only sneezed twice in history. Today we call them Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Skitara, stop being an ass. If you don't think these are funney, then don't read the stupid thread.