Wordsmith & Technique Boutique

**Mistress Kitti** · 07-19-2010, 01:01 PM

Bree, our lovely, ~unofficial~ authority as Grammar Tyrant...has given me an idea.

For fun, type up a crazy paragraph, consisting of FIVE full-sentences (or more), leaving intentional *or unintentional for a few of us

* grammatical errors. Post your paragraph, allowing Ms Bree <or any others for that matter> to scrub for errors, and watch the ~Magic~ happen! The WordSmythe *responder* of your paragraph will make their edits showing in RED font. Remember, this is for fun...so only saturated flaming is allowed

I'll start us off...*An excerpt from Stephen King's Cell*

Inside the bag swinging back, and forth, was a small round object. A present, you might have guessed, and, you would have been right. You, might further have guessed, that this clayton riddell was a Young Man seeking to commemerrate some small (or purrrhaps even not so small) victory with a small treasure, and you would have been right again. The item inside the bag was a rather expensive glass paper weight with a greay haze of dandelion fluff caught in it's center.

**Bree Fletcher** · 07-19-2010, 01:11 PM

There, just to start off the starting things off...

Originally Posted by Mistress Kitti

Inside the bag, swinging back(,) and forth, was a small round object. A present, you might have guessed, and(,) you would have been right. You(,) might further have guessed(,) that this Clayton Riddell was a young man seeking to commemorate some small (or purrrhaps even not so small) victory with a small treasure, and you would have been right again. The item inside the bag was a rather expensive, glass paper( )weight with a gray haze of dandelion fluff caught in it(')s center.

By the by, red parentheses around something indicate removal...

Now, I think I can be pretty sure that all this was intended, (the purrrhaps was a tip-off, and I didn't feel like changing it because I just like the look of it coming from you, Kitti

) but anyway...

(Stephen King is great!)

Now, for a "modified" opening section of Scout!

Reemus Malorne ran his eyes down the length of the vessal docked in front of himself.

Then he ran them back the other way in case hed somehow missed, a few hundred meters of starship somewhere. He hadn’t it stoicly remained the same size.

Not that the starhopper was particularly small, but it did seem to Reemus that a Navy craft, specially one that would carry “a great expidition to previously unknown reaches of space, so that menkind may better understand the workings of the universe” as admiral Castas had called it earlier, should be more than eighty-meters long. Reemus wondered if the admiral had come up with her name as well. He probly had.

**Nesterus** · 07-19-2010, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by FoxyBunny

This is exactly the sort of spam thread OT doesn't need.

i tend to agree

**Mistress Kitti** · 07-19-2010, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by Bree Fletcher

There, just to start off the starting things off...

By the by, red parentheses around something indicate removal...

Now, I think I can be pretty sure that all this was intended, (the purrrhaps was a tip-off, and I didn't feel like changing it because I just like the look of it coming from you, Kitti

) but anyway...

(Stephen King is great!)

Now, for a "modified" opening section of Scout!

Reemus Malorne ran his eyes down the length of the vessel docked in front of him().

Then he ran them back the other way in case he(')d somehow missed, a few hundred meters of starship somewhere. He hadn’t(;) it stoicly remained the same size.

Not that the Starhopper was particularly small, but it did seem to Reemus that a Navy craft, especially one that would carry “a great expedition to previously unknown reaches of space, so that mankind may better understand the workings of the universe” as Admiral Castas had called it earlier, should be more than eighty( )meters long. Reemus wondered if the Admiral had come up with her name as well. He probably had.

Working just as I'd planned!! YAAAY! And yes, you were correct about the 'purrrhaps'

Excerpt from John Saul's In The Dark Of The Night

"I'm going to go work out, Kent" said to Eric. "Want to go to the gyme?' Eric hesitated, then shook his head, his good moode now long gone. If his mother was scared, about being up in Wisconsin without his father during the week, then that woudl be that. And given; that he's mother was sacred of practically everything, the possibility that shed wind up just refusing to go even if someone did fine them a houses was all too real. "I think Ill just go home, too:' he said!