My dear Dawnseeker.


What is the minimum daily ration of bacon a human being can subsist on?

As in, oh I dunno... Say that, hypothetically, an ex-Mod "accidentaly" got locked in the basement. Economic times being what they are, after the obligatory water supply and bucket with bag of limestone (sanitary purposes you know), I was wondering if four, maybe five strips would keep Byc... I mean a hypothetical ex-mod in suficient health to last a good while.

Also, does the bacon absolutely have to be cooked?

-The Anonymous Frenchman
Dear AF,

Bacon is the world's perfect food. I personally ensure I get at least a pound a day, but minimum subsistence would probably be more like 4 strips. I would recommend against cooking it at all. Cooked bacon can be difficult to fit underneath a door, whereas the uncooked variety slides easily. Also, the extra fat that would normally be lost in cooking will give him shinier, softer fur.

Once a week, roll up a worming tablet in a strip of bacon and roll it under the door. That should handle any nasty side-effects.

-Dawnseeker