Dear Dawnseeker:

[FoxyBunny]

Dear Dawnseeker,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for sometime that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings but if I answer the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls alot lately although when I ask their names she always says "Just some friends from work, you dont know them." I always stay awake to look for her taxi coming home, but she always walks round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked up her cell phone to see what time it was and she went berserk saying I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at the moment crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I should fix myself or take back to the dealer?


-Humbly
A Concerned Husband

Dear Concerned,

You are going to have to man up here and accept that this is probably your fault. Such a beautiful little treasure should always be treated with special care and concern. You should be spending a lot of time with her, telling her how much you love her, touching her gently, and using terms of endearment. When it is cold out, you should be sheltering her with the softest and warmest of cloaks. You should pay attention to her moods and her needs, and you should not expect her to have to tell you what is wrong with your relationship. In other words, you must have been neglecting her sorely to allow things to get to this point.

I am appalled that you should have an oil leak so bad that it is visible at night when you are already distracted. Realistically, your only honorable options are to find a lovely new home for your beloved and then commit seppuku to cleanse your soul, or to posthaste rush her to the nearest Harley dealer and hand over your credit card without flinching.

Oh yeah, and your wife is cheating on you. Ditch her.

-Dawnseeker

[Fallbreeze]

Well, somehow, Dawnseeker accidentally put this on my desk instead of Foxy's.

What, when you get right down to it, is the point of it all, really?

-UU Wizard

Hey, Wizard,

Normally, it would be a question mark, an exclamation point, a period, or other things of that nature. In this case, the point of it all is just to live, laugh, and find out just how many ways I can "micro manage". These Mods don't have enough to do, it looks like.

-Dawnseeker

[FoxyBunny]

Digger Walters,

why must that blasted troll Nesterus live on these forums

Nesterus is a troll, but your taxonomy is not perfect. The Blasted Troll [monstrum ignis] is normally found around areas of intense heat, such as volcanic vents, sulphuric pools, and west Texas. Most cladists would agree that Nesterus is best classified as being a Common Troll [monstum vulgaris]. While the two species are similar to the untrained eye, the Common Troll has a more pronounced green wart constellation on it's back.


Documentary footage of the monstrum vulgaris. Note the green wart constellation.

can you tell me which mod is the most mentally unstable?

Well, the last time I brought Bickyz his gruel, I noticed that he had started to chew through his own arm in an attempt to break free from his restraints. That's pretty crazy, huh? It's a good job we keep him locked away in the mod basement.

~ Boleslav, signing for Dawnseeker in his absence.

[FoxyBunny]

Dear Justin Bieber (Dawnseeker),
Why did you break up with me? we had the perfect relationship!

Love,
Grace Elliot

Dear whoever,

I have no idea who these people are that you speak of. Are you one of those people that thinks vampires sparkle?

-Dawnseeker

[FoxyBunny]

Dear Dawnseeker,

Are you looking forward to "Vampires Suck"? If you haven't heard of it it's the parody on twilight. It's gonna be epic

Thanks
TheAntiTwilight

Dear TheAntiTwilight,

With great pleasure I am looking forward to the movie Vampires Suck, which, in my grandiose opinion, is the movie that "Twilight" is a farce of. I had enjoyed bringing my vuvuzela to the parodies of Vampires Suck and saving the audience from a most horrible fate. Now I come with my baseball bat to beat senseless the twilight fans bringing the vuvuzelas to Vampires Suck, as I am going to enjoy the real movie.

Sincerely yours,
Dawnseeker

P.S. Maybe we both can go in our pajamas and camp outside the movie theater the night it opens!