Friendship question...

[Arathorn136]

Lol well i'd like to see that. I woulda put more details in but typing on this iPod for extended amounts of time is a pain.

[FoxyBunny]

Arathorn, your story is interesting. I find it curious that you said it was you that had to be forgiven. Your friend set out to play a joke on someone that might hurt that other person. She had played the same hurtful joke on you in the past. So here we have you initially agreeing, then backing out and it sounds like you started feeling guilty about playing a part in it, or else you remembered how much this joke had hurt you when you were the victim?

What I don't get is how you are the one who screwed up and had to apologize. And someone who repeatedly plays hurtful jokes on others doesn't sound like much of a friend anyways, but instead gets mad at you for daring to be hurt? Are you sure this person is a friend?

[abracax]

Let's say you met someone who you really get along with and soon the two of you become great friends. Would it be ok for you to do something that you know will really hurt the friend and destroy the friendship even though the friend may never know what you did? Is this jut a case of "what people don't know won't hurt them?" Or is it a deeper moral issue that reflects the true nature of an individual?

It's not a question of morality but of loyalty. If you are a loyal friend you would do what you could to protect your friend, even if it means taking a bullet.

[Arathorn136]

Arathorn, your story is interesting. I find it curious that you said it was you that had to be forgiven. Your friend set out to play a joke on someone that might hurt that other person. She had played the same hurtful joke on you in the past. So here we have you initially agreeing, then backing out and it sounds like you started feeling guilty about playing a part in it, or else you remembered how much this joke had hurt you when you were the victim?

What I don't get is how you are the one who screwed up and had to apologize. And someone who repeatedly plays hurtful jokes on others doesn't sound like much of a friend anyways, but instead gets mad at you for daring to be hurt? Are you sure this person is a friend?

Well, I was kind of confused at the time about how on earth I had screwed up. I really like this friend, she is a good kind person and is always looking out for others. I just really didn't want her mad at me, so I apologized. We are still good friends, but thankfully she hasn't pulled one of those tricks again. although, I must admit, she is one of those people that can go from happy and calm to real temperamental fast.

Personally, I hate being on the bad side of anyone, it makes me upset just as much as it makes them upset. I tend to forgive and forget. That's just the way I am. Or in this case, apologize (even though I was confused why) and forget.

[Japengo]

Personally, I've gone out of my way to avoid having friends hurt. It's gotten to the point where I've sacrificed sleep, food, and sanity to keep my friends out of trouble, or at least lessen the results of them getting into it.
It might have something to do with being in the military, where your friends become your family, but I think I had it ingrained in me before I even joined.

[japanpimp]

It's not a question of morality but of loyalty. If you are a loyal friend you would do what you could to protect your friend, even if it means taking a bullet.

Yes, loyalty is the key word I think.

[BigBlugga]

Inmy personal opinion, if it is something worth breaking a friendship over, then it must be more important to your life then there. I would try to keep friends happy but it's also a manner of self happiness.

[Boleslav]

I need more context before I feel I can give my opinion or advice. What exactly is the situation that "Japanpimp's Friend" is involved in?

[japanpimp]

Inmy personal opinion, if it is something worth breaking a friendship over, then it must be more important to your life then there. I would try to keep friends happy but it's also a manner of self happiness.

Good thought. Everyone has a right to be happy. But if by exercising that right you really hurt someone you care about... what do you do? It is not bad to be selfish. We all need to be a little selfish. But an extremely selfish person is going to put many of their wants/desires ahead of others most of the time. So that type of person has little sense of what is important to others because they will fail to consider others feelings. What level of selfishness is healthy?

[japanpimp]

I need more context before I feel I can give my opinion or advice. What exactly is the situation that "Japanpimp's Friend" is involved in?

There are no details. Sorry. I am speaking in general terms.