Three things you can do with a ........

[Japengo]

1) Sing about it while holding it.
2) Give as a gag gift to anyone.
3) Buy out a few stores worth of them, then load them into another person's vehicle...then have a video camera ready. (No, I would not actually do this...)

Duct Tape

1: Fix that moving thing that shouldn't.
2: Combine it with WD-40 to create the ultimate tool.
3: Use it to hogtie that thief who attempted to steal your sacred collection of Bill Murray videos.

duck tape

Already done.