Mysterious Happenings

[Alusair]

being a trained salmon assassin I speak from experience!

[7:07 PM] Boleslav: how does one assassinate a salmon?

Allow me to explain:

Scene 1: The Meeting
Setting: A shady alleyway, during a foggy afternoon.

Assassin enters the alleyway and glances around.
"Over here," says a voice from the shadows. Assassin notices Bass in one shadowed corner of the alley, wearing a plain brown trench coat and bolero hat. Bass steps forward, taking a slow drag on a cigarette.
"Who needs attention?" says Assassin. Bass glances left to right, before slipping a picture to Assassin. Assassin swipes the picture and glances down at it, recognizing the face of Salmon. He nods.
"He's been getting a little too greedy with the worms. Won't give me my cut. My patience has run out."
"And you're good for the cash?" Assassin asks, with a cocked eyebrow.
"Every cent," Bass replies, taking another slow drag on his cigarette. Assassin nods again, slipping the picture in the folds of his jacket. He then turns, and without looking back, strolls out of the alley and down the sidewalk, towards the park where his target was waiting.
"You think he'll get the job done?" inquires another voice, from behind Bass's shoulder. Bass glances over at Pike, who slipped out from behind one corner of the alleyway to approach Bass.
"Yeah. I looked into his history. Professionally trained assassin. He's got experience."
Pike nods, seemingly satisfied. Bass pulls a cigarette box from within his coat, and pats it lightly against a fin, jarring a cigarette loose. Silently, he passes it to Pike. Pike accepts the cigarette, and pulls a lighter from his pocket, igniting the tip of the cigarette with a soft flare of light and smoke. The scene fades as Bass and Pike slowly take drags on their cigarettes, silently waiting for the results of the job.

Scene 2: The Hit
Setting: City park.

Salmon is at the park with his wife, Perch, and two kids, having a picnic. Salmon's gut is slightly plump, silent evidence to his taking cuts from the worm business. Assassin spots him from afar, and begins studying his subject, from Salmon's bulbous eyes to his softly sheening scales. As Assassin ponders the manner of execution, the opportunity offers itself: one of Salmon's children, who is playing frisbee with the other, accidentally throws the frisbee too far, causing it to crash in the woods behind them. One child starts to head in that direction, only to be stopped by Perch, who mentions that the children should not leave her sight. Salmon props himself up on his fins, and proposes he'll retrieve the frisbee for them.

Assassin quickly launches into motion, sulking along the edge of the woods towards the frisbee, ahead of Salmon. He grabs the frisbee and tosses it several feet further in the woods, but within open sight. He then takes position behind a generously wide tree nearby. After a few moments, Salmon saunters along, spotting the frisbee and heading that way. As he unknowingly passes the tree Assassin hides behind, Assassin jumps into motion, quickly wrapping a fishing line around the throat of Salmon as a garotte. Salmon quickly lets out a gurgled gasp, and reaches up to the line, trying in vain to claw it from his neck. Assassin pulls harder on the line, digging it deeply into Salmon's scales and flesh. Salmon's movements quickly become panicked and frantic, his eyes starting to bulge (moreso than usual) and his mouth flopping open and closed madly trying to draw breath. After a few moments, Assassin feels Salmon's body go limp. Giving one last tight jerk of the line for good measure, Assassin finally relaxes the line. Salmon's body slumps forward to the ground like dead weight, his jaw slacked open and his eye staring blankly into the sky, never seeing again. Without delay, Assassin slips the line back into his jacket and takes off into the further depths of the woods. The scene fades as Asassin hears the blood-curdling shriek of Perch behind him as she discovers her murdered husband.