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Thread: And now for something completely different...

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    Talking And now for something completely different...

    John Cleese, British writer, actor and tall person, has recently put this message out. I thought I'd share this with you.


    In light of recent events in the Middle East...

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though, security levels may be raised again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. The English have not been 'A Bit Cross' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies almost ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to 'A Bloody Nuisance'. The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanih Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from 'P***ed Off' to 'Let's Get The B*****ds'. They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British Army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Collaborate' and 'Surrender'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly And Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing'. Two more levels remain: 'Innefective Combat Operations' and 'Change Sides'.

    The Germans have increased their alert stage from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to 'Dress In Uniforms And Sing Marching Songs'. They also have two higher levels: 'Invade A Neighbor' and 'Lose'.

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised it's security levels from 'No Worries' to 'She'll Be Alright, Mate'. Two more escalation levels remain: 'Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend' and 'The barbie is cancelled'. So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.


    I must thank my sister Marion, as big a Python fan as I am, for passing this along.


    Last edited by Wildor; 03-06-2011 at 08:52 AM.

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