Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 36

Thread: And now for something completely different...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    A little ways north of Montreal, Quebec.
    Posts
    5,233

    Talking And now for something completely different...

    John Cleese, British writer, actor and tall person, has recently put this message out. I thought I'd share this with you.


    In light of recent events in the Middle East...

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though, security levels may be raised again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. The English have not been 'A Bit Cross' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies almost ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to 'A Bloody Nuisance'. The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanih Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from 'P***ed Off' to 'Let's Get The B*****ds'. They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British Army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Collaborate' and 'Surrender'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly And Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing'. Two more levels remain: 'Innefective Combat Operations' and 'Change Sides'.

    The Germans have increased their alert stage from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to 'Dress In Uniforms And Sing Marching Songs'. They also have two higher levels: 'Invade A Neighbor' and 'Lose'.

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised it's security levels from 'No Worries' to 'She'll Be Alright, Mate'. Two more escalation levels remain: 'Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend' and 'The barbie is cancelled'. So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.


    I must thank my sister Marion, as big a Python fan as I am, for passing this along.


    Last edited by Wildor; 03-06-2011 at 08:52 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    6,839

    Default

    I lol'd.
    I love a good French joke.
    Reality scripted TV.
    Chasing fifteen minutes of fame.
    Fight over fuel.
    Violence in school.
    The youth are as confused as I am.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Chesapeake, VA
    Posts
    110

    Default

    Hahaha! That's awesome! Love this one...
    Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly And Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing'. Two more levels remain: 'Innefective Combat Operations' and 'Change Sides'.
    U.S. Military Life - Coming Soon!
    "To achieve victory we must mass our forces at the hub of all power and movement. The enemy's 'center of gravity'" -Von Clausewitz
    Age II: na21 ~ HMBeaty ~ RuthLess; na29 ~ HMBeaty ~ USMCorps

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    2,868

    Default

    I chuckled.
    http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/xx292/morgana5/Forum%20Sigs/jannge.png
    Sig made by Morgana
    Never forget those who died in WW2
    Quote Originally Posted by Holeypaladin View Post
    That's just funny.

    Jannge is awesome.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-DwjX-0E_8

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    finding Out.Wherever that is?
    Posts
    495

    Thumbs up

    ........ : )

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    325

    Default

    ROFL LMAO... funniest thing I've read in a while... thanks for that!

    Sig by Morgan le Fay
    "War is cruelty. There's no use trying to reform it, the crueler it is the sooner it will be over."
    --William Tecumseh Sherman--

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,521

    Default

    Nothing stops the Aussie barbie.



    It's traditional.

    PEACE

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Behind you!! You looked, didn't you? Don't even try and deny it.
    Posts
    889

    Default

    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Have some rep. If I could rep twice in a row, I would
    Quote Originally Posted by Revoltion (Skype)
    Suddenly, a few lightyears have passed.

    Thanks to Morgan, my lovely wife, for my sig!
    Na1 News - Giving The News to Na1.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    A little ways north of Montreal, Quebec.
    Posts
    5,233

    Default

    Thanks guys but you know what we should do?

    One of us should create a fake John Cleese account and we should all rep that.

    Hell, we should get Dawnseeker to give it a million rep points. And mail the real John Cleese about it.

    What do you think?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Behind you!! You looked, didn't you? Don't even try and deny it.
    Posts
    889

    Default

    Lol, will you or shall I?
    Quote Originally Posted by Revoltion (Skype)
    Suddenly, a few lightyears have passed.

    Thanks to Morgan, my lovely wife, for my sig!
    Na1 News - Giving The News to Na1.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •