Random Theories Thread

[Nesterus]

Comprehensive Lulz Theory

1. There exist five ?components? of the internetz; Lulz, Anti-lulz, Haet, Retard, and Hivemind.
2. Of these five components, there exist different states of being. (Including Fail, Epic Fail, Win, Epic Win, Potential Lulz, Unfunny, and Zalgo)
3. Lulz cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred to differing states.
4. Lulz, once generated, enters a constant state of decay; eventually reverting to its previous ?Unfunny? state. Note that this does not counteract rule #3; decaying lulz is merely transformed into potential lulz.
5. All that exists contains one of all five components. Hivemind can only exist via a complex interaction among the latter four.

The Forces of the Internet, and their Varying States

LULZ: The first component to be isolated, is also the least common. Through a phenomenon not currently understood, Lulz is sometimes spontaneously generated. It is diametrically opposed to Anti-Lulz, and has four states of being:

* Win ? Transitory, short-lived state of Lulz, exists only when Lulz is first generated from another state of being.
* Epic Win ? Theoretical super-dense state of Lulz, it has never been officially recorded by any reputable sources. Many Independent Researchers claim to have produced it; however their results have yet to be substantiated.
* Unfunny ? Lulz once fully decayed. Some argue this is actually comprised of Anti-Lulz. Such people are dumb.
* Potential Lulz ? Usually marked by a high incidence of Retard. This state of Lulz appears to originate from Fail. The reason for transformation from Fail to Potential Lulz is currently unknown.

ANTI-LULZ: Discovered shortly after Lulz, it is most often produced by Independent Research Teams attempting to generate Lulz. Has only two states of being.

* Fail ? Though not composed exclusively of Anti-Lulz, it is still considered a state of being for Anti-Lulz. Its second component is Retard.
* Epic Fail ? Super-dense, unstable and highly dangerous form of Fail. It is observed to be caustic to other states of being, often incorporating Retard, Haet, and even Lulz unto itself, resulting in more fail. Thankfully, Epic Fail, though extremely prevalent, is often self-contained in places unfrequented by man. Under extreme circumstances Epic Fail has been known to transform into Epic Win. The forces responsible for this are currently under debate.
* World Change ? A new form of Anti-Lulz discovered during the Chanology Experiments, it can only be produced by inserting freshly-made Lulz into an Internet Change Machine. Quickly decays into Fail, requiring cleansing operations to be conducted in any labs running World Change experiments.

HAET: The least understood of the components of the internet before the discovery of hivemind, it was originally thought to have direct relation to Anti-Lulz, as it is most often found around retard, fail, and epic fail. However, recent research has since proven that it is actually an entity unto itself. No known states of being have yet been found. Some argue that Haet, and not Lulz, is the driving force behind the internets. Sufficient evidence suggests that Haet serves as the lattice-work which binds the internets to each other despite the natural repulsion produced by those elements which exist as either fail or win.

RETARD: The second to last of the components to be isolated. Being a primary component of Fail, as well as many other things, it is by far the most prevalent component of the internet. It is thought to be a force of self-attraction, as Retard tends to eventually amass in large quantities where ever it can be found. Has two states of being (Fail and Epic Fail), though these are officially categorized as being states of Anti-Lulz. Through a process not yet fully understood, Retard can spontaneously transform into Potential Lulz.

HIVEMIND: Isolated during The Chanology Experiments, and composed of a complex interaction among Lulz, Anti-Lulz, Haet, and Retard, this exotic force exists only for a certain time according to some law of its own. The hivemind cannot be known by those who speak of it, but only those who become a part of it.

[BS.]

I could be missing it in there, but was Zalgo ever given a definition?

[Nesterus]

ZA͡L̢GƠ ͠is not goi̶ng ͞t҉o͞ ͘te̛ll͜ ̀y͞ou ̴w̵ha̡t͡ ZALG͏? ͢i̢s, for ҉Z̧AL͟GO͘ i͘s̸ not. Z̸A̴LG͝O̕ is ̢ǹot͏ ? g͡o͞od҉ t̨hin͠g͘.͜ ̵ ҉Z͜A̢L̕GO͢ ҉is̸ no͟t͏ /̀x/ ̵o̡r ̛S̀A.͠ ͏ ZAL͡GO͘ ͡is͞ n̷o̧t ̢u̕nt̸i̴l̵ the e͟n̵d̀ ͜o̷f ̵days̀.͜ ̷ ̵ ̷He̕ W͞ai͞t͞s͡ ͡Be͜h̵ind T̵he ̕Wal̵l,̴ ͢in a ͡p̀?l҉?c? ̀of͝ ̶t͢o̶rt̸u̸r̶ed͟ gl?ss͞,͟ ̨served̶ by͡ l͝egio͝ns ̡for̨g҉e̷d f̡rǫm ̧th́e̴ ͠tȩars̸ ̴of͡ ͟th͞e̕ s͞le͞epless ̨de̢a̡d ańd cl̴?d͟ ̵i͜n ar̴mo͘r ̧car̨ved ̶from̕ thę s҉uffe̶r͏in͠g̷ o̧f͘ ̷mo͟t̵h̀e̕r͞s.̸ In͡ ͜his̴ ̨r̷ight͝ ha҉n͡d̨ he̶ holds ͢a͜ ̸dea̕d ̕s̛t́ar̕,̢ ́a̴ǹd͞ in͡ ̧h҉is͢ ̸r͏ight ̨ha̕n͢d he h̛ǫl͏d̵s ͟t̛h̕e ̀Can̸d̛l̴e ̡Wh̛o͟s̶e ͏Ligh͘t͞ ̧I̸s Sh͝a͢d́o͏w.͢ ҉His l?f̡t h͢?n͢ds͜ ?r͝e stain̷ed ͏w̛it̶h͟ t̴he b̡l͟ood̢ ̴of ͠Am Ḑh̀ae͘ga͟r̢. ̵ ̶ ̶ ̵ ͡His ͜six ͜m̧ou͡t̀hs ͏s̶p͏e̡a̴k ͏i͜n͜ ̷di̡f̕f̕erent͜ ̴to̕n҉gu͢ęs͏, ̧a̷ņd͢ ͝t̕hę seven̴t̨h̢ ̴shall s͠in̶g t͞he s͜o̡ng ̷that ̶e̢nd́s̷ ͠th̛e ̸earth̛.̷ ̶ ҉ ̡ ̧ ZALGO ͘ re͜f͠e͢ŕs͜ ͝to͜ th͘e ͡co̷r̛ru̷p͟tion of perf?c̸t͜ly ̀i͠nn͏o̡c͘e͏n̢t ̀things̴ ̵and ͘i͡d?as,́ ̵s͝uc̶h̶ ?s̛ c͢omi͢cs̡, s̶t̨ori͘e͘s or ͏m҉e͏me͏s.̕ To ma̡ke͡ ̧th̕e̢m ee̸r͘ie͝ ?n҉d͡ "͠L҉ove͢c͟r͝afti̢a҉n".̨ ̢ ͢ ҉T̨h̷e̷s̀? ̴ex͞ce̴r̷p̡ts̶ r̢u͢n ţḩe ̶ga͜m҉?t̨ ́f͞rom a̵l͘che҉m̕ica̸l do͢c̢umen̕ts̀ f̕r͠om ţhe 1̶60̛0s͞,͠ o͜c͝c̕u͠l͏t͝ ̴texts r̸elating̷ ̨t̸o ̛v?mp͞ire͜s̨, cu͜lt ̷dǫg̀m̧a҉ (̴t͞r?ns̡c͘r͡ip̕ts ̵f̕r̡om ͏th͢e͠ ̧vid̶ęo͝ o̵f͡ ̴tha̵t c̸ul̛t that̸ ͞ki̵ll͠ed t̷hem̀sęl͠ves̶ w͜hen ͟t͡he̕ Hale B͝o͞p ćom͜et͜ ̧pa҉s͝s̕e̸d ͝b͝y ͜Ear̴th),͜ ͟s̨e͡gme͟nts̛ o̕f̡ ͝h͘o͝r̵r̛?r͢ st̨ori̡es ͡(̡Br͘a̴hm S̸t͟oke̢r̛'̀s ҉Laiŗ o҉f̴ th̕e Wh̛i̢tȩ ̕Wor͞m),͏ ́a͘n̴d ev҉en th? ҉tria͏l o͠f̨ a̶ ͡m̧an҉ ̢s̶u͢pp͢osed tǫ h̕ave bee̢n a͜ ̢w̡er̴e͝w͡o͟l͞f. ̵

[BS.]

Alright so in other words... Zalgo is not my friend.

Who encounters a(the) Zalgo
ceases being here
on the net

[MRsmokesta]

i believe that the silence of the universe was loud b4 but now its retiring
but however its apprentice will be makin noise soon

[Hehe]

Nesterus, IOU rep. Remind me sometime. That is officially an epic win. Even though it was copy pasta.

Now, my theory.

"1.All of life is an illusion.
2. I am an illusion.
3. You are an illusion.
4. This is an illusion.
5. Nothing has ever happened, or will happen, besides illusion-ness.
6. All that can happen cannot happen.
7. All that did happen did not happen.
8. Except for me. I am not an illusion.
9. Oh, wait, never mind, 8 cancels 2 out.
10. To summarise, everything that has, is, or can happen(ed)(ing) did, is not, or cannot happen(ed)(ing).
11. Except this.
12. Oh, I just contradicted myself.
13. I hate contradictions, but they, too, are an illusion, and therefore, I cannot hate them. This also links into 2."

[BS.]

Crap i believe that makes Evony an illusion according to rules 1 4 5 & 6.

[Balaam]

i believe that if a tree falls and nobody is around, it won't make a sound
but if it lands on your car... you'll still have a messed up car
even if nobody is around

[King Dylan]

Michael Jackosn was murdured by his doctor with an overdose of drugs.

[JustAGirl69]

I have a theory that Starbucks puts untraceable amounts of a highly addictive substance (maybe heroin) in their drinks to keep people addicted. It can't just be the caffeine.