lol my apologies bro!

anyways heres todays :-)

What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.

If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".


A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.


Chuck Norris could start a fire with 2 ice cubes.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed; they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?

A. Divorce proceedings, most likely.

What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

(Im neither btw lol)

How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris?

Don't know...its never been done.

:-)

...i hope i didn offend any1 lol.....