discipline

[gottibabe1]

I used to get my azz BEAT, wooden spoon, broom stick, hands, back of the belt, shoes, aka anything that was closest to grab...

It didn't really do much to me emotionally, I think personally the verbal abuse was more detrimental to me than actual physical abuse, If anything me and my brother have kind of grown to be pretty good kids as far as drugs and stuff go (we knew our azz's would get beat bad) although we were pretty rebellious (cutting class and small stuff we knew we wouldn't get in too much trouble)

My parents have never ever grounded me, I don't even think they know what the concept it O.o

Personally a little smack shouldn't be too frowned upon I think, although when I babysit my cousins I find that the one thing they hate the most is being put in a corner (I friggin HATED that SO MUCH)

[Alusair]

I think you over-dramatized this. A swatting of a hand, or a spanking, in public, when a child is acting up is perfectly accepted. I see infrequently, and I've never seen anyone say something like "Don't you dare spank that child!"

It happens, actually. It wasn't that long ago that there was a local (I think it was local) news story about how a mother was arrested and taken to jail for spanking her child in a public place when he (I think it was a he) behaved inappropriately.

Sadly there are some anti-spank people out there that feel the need to impose their opinions on others because they feel they and only they know the only right way to raise children. Then again, you'll see that everywhere- people who feel they have to impose their personal morals and ethnics on everyone else as though there can only be one right answer to everything.

Though I would also say I think one major contributor to the reason children misbehave these days is the internet, too- it basically teaches people that they can say and do whatever they want to anyone or anything and not ever be held accountable for it.

I don't think the media (like TV and etc.) do a very good job giving good impressions to children either. IE; a lot of adults will frown on young girls that dress like "skanks", yet what does TV/media do? Glorify women that dress as scantily as possible.

So I think that there's a lot of problems that can be blamed for the way people act these days, beyond just method of discipline. Parents that never have time for their kids, or people that marry/start a family before actually being ready for it or actually think it through could be another problem of modern times, too.

[Oss Spy]

When I have children they will either respect me or fear me. I do NOT care what they choose. The result will be the same: obedience. Some things can not be tolerated. I will not be gentle on my children if they did something they know was wrong. That being said, there are some things where a good talking-to is more effective than mercilessly beating a child. It depends on the situation.

[Arathorn136]

As a young child I remember being spanked or given a sharp twist of the arm if I ever behaved inappropriately. I remember in particular being punished for lying, which incidentally, now that I am older I feel very guilty if I ever do lie. I suppose I learned my lesson quite well.
My parents also taught me that all actions have reactions, so that at a young age, I knew that if I did something bad or wrong, something bad or wrong would happen to me. If I did something good, other people would usually want to do good things for me.
I owe my parents everything regarding my ability to see past the immediate and understand what the future repercussions could be, unlike many other young adults my age who can't understand that if you do something stupid one day, you're going to feel even more stupid the next. This also taught me valuable lessons regarding drugs, alcohol, high school drama (which if anything is just as bad or worse than drugs).

So I would say physical discipline doesn't work as well by itself... parents should associate physical discipline with mental discipline in order to teach their children the right lessons. If a child is just physically disciplined with out understanding why, they won't understand the bigger picture, whereas if a parent teaches a child vocally (without yelling or being "mean"), and using physical discipline as a handy sidekick or last resort, the child will have a better grasp of what's right and wrong, what's smart and stupid, and what's good and bad in later life.


EDIT:

So I think that there's a lot of problems that can be blamed for the way people act these days, beyond just method of discipline. Parents that never have time for their kids, or people that marry/start a family before actually being ready for it or actually think it through could be another problem of modern times, too.

I think you have also touched on part of the problem here. Parents that are way to young to be starting families and are pushing whether or not they should even be married or not are having 1, 2, 3 kids. These parents have not even finished growing up and becoming mature themselves, which makes it difficult to teach a child valuable life lessons when the parents themselves haven't learned them well enough yet, or even grown up to be a responsible adult.

[*jdm*]

this post astounded me, and I was tempted to delete it, maybe even dish out a fraction. But I want to say my peace, instead.

i want one of these "fractions"

[Arathorn136]

i want one of these "fractions"

Here you go.



It's improper too, just for you.




OK, I will try my best from here on in not to derail this thread as I believe it has potential.

[Mistress Kitti]

this post astounded me, and I was tempted to delete it, maybe even dish out a fraction. But I want to say my peace, instead.<----Does it make you feel like a 'bigger person to do so?
Very obviously, you do not know the conditions under which ^He was brought up. You don't know any of his back story, or how hard ^He worked to support his brother.<---Well? Neither do YOU know anything bout me, my back story, NOR how hard I worked to survive. I have every right to say what I said. You think raising kids is hard? Good job, everybody does. But you have a job, you have experience, support, and the wisdom that comes with age.<---What do you know about my life, SBD??? I figured you would be sympathetic, because to be left to support yourself AND your brother when you're not even old enough to file for welfare?<----File WELFARE??? WTH is THAT?? You figured?? Really, now? And how did you bring yourself to that assumption? Old enough to get anything more than a minimum wage job, as well as having to deal with the hormones and anxieties of being a teenager, I cannot imagine what he went through, and neither can you<---uhh, how DO YOU KNOW??, because it could've been sorta bad, or completely AWFUL<---Really?? Omg!! I never would have said ANYTHING if I would have thought of that. We don't know, and we can't assume. You mocking him actually offends me, please be more respectful to our members, old or young, agreeable or not.

We don't know, and we can't assume. You mocking him actually offends me, please be more respectful to our members, old or young, agreeable or not. You're picking apart my posts actually offends me. So? You know, SBD. I think it's time to read some of your own words, but this time? I'm using them in MY defense.

I dont write to send a message, I simply write to express the way I feel. I dont expect you to try and connect with my feelings, or to understand them, so it's perfectly fine that you don't. I didn't write this to make an impression either. Many writers are overcritical of their own work. <----You have no idea how many times I read and re-read this entire thread, my post(s) and everyone else's posts before I pressed 'Submit Reply'
Some people convey a message in a short precise way. Others take a bit longer. I don't think there's anything wrong with either ways, but it's ok if you do. We're all entitled to our opinions, and if you expect us to respect yours, then you need to respect other's as well. The means not discrediting them with rude remarks.<---But I guess given your current status in OTD, it gives YOU every right to be hypocritical in your own post/reprimands/lectures. I feel as though you went about this critique in an incredibly hostile way, for no apparent reason.<----Yep! Me too, cuz you have no idea, nor will you ever know what my life is made of.

And? I stand firmly behind everyone of my posts in here, SBD. Whether it bothers you or not.

[llloXolll]

this post astounded me, and I was tempted to delete it, maybe even dish out a fraction. But I want to say my peace, instead.

Am I the only one who reads this as "YOUR OPINION DOESN'T MATCH MINE AND I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THAT" response ? Or was this your attempt to play parent and "talk" to your child instead of dishing out discipline ?

Also IF there was anything actually wrong with her post and you as a Moderator failed to "moderate" it, deciding instead to flame it with your own personal opinion doesn't that mean you failed in your respeosibilities as a Moderator to be subjective and police the topic ensuring that it stays within the rules of the forum ? Don't take that wrong, I don't know you from Peter or Pual and have no issue with you, I just find it hypicritical that a Moderator would openly say "you violated this and this and this but instead of doing my job to mederate it I will violate the same things by stating my opinion".


Something that should be considered SBD is the volitile nature of the subject itself. There is a reason Politic's isn't allowed on the forums, and that same reason should be held to a topic such as this. While some folks believe that physical discipline is appropriate (I do), others are firmly against it. A topic like this will only invite folks to flame each other based on opinions of the subject. Which is exactly why it should never have gotten this far.

I think you over-dramatized this. A swatting of a hand, or a spanking, in public, when a child is acting up is perfectly accepted. I see infrequently, and I've never seen anyone say something like "Don't you dare spank that child!"

In all honesty this will depend on where you live. I was born and raised in Miami, in South Florida you will be detained, questioned, arrested and prosecuted if you publicly spank your child. Why, becuase of the folks working for the CPS system in Miami have a "timeout society" belief and push that belief onto others. The system in place puts too much emphasis on "personal opinions". What 1 person see's as abuse, others see as appropriate discipline. The responses in this thread alone prove that case. Now add the authority to remove a child from his home, arrest and prosecute the child's parents becuase "you as a CPS agent" don't believe in physical discipline and well we see where that is going. Now the reason I say it depends on where you live is becuase in 1992 I moved from Miami to North Florida where life is different. Law Enforcement and the CPS system in rural counties and towns allow the parents to have more say in the way a child is raised, INCLUDING physical discipline". I know this as a fact and not an opinion as I worked in Law Enforcement in both North and South Florida. I have taken many children home to Mom and Dad knowing that "lil Jimmy" was going to get his azz whipped for what he did. I've also seen CPS agents tell Mom and Dad "you need to whip that kids azz". Believe though that these same CPS agents will take a child from his home and place an abusive parent in jail without a 2nd thought.


hmmmmm, lets weigh the options here. Lil Jimmy (16 yrs old) is out with big Jimmy (19 yrs old). They are driving down a rural road at 10:00 pm with 1 head light. Two Officers approach the car on each side, Officer 1 is talking to big Jimmy (driver) and notices that big Jimmy is very nervous. Officer 2 approaches the passenger side and tells lil Jimmy to roll down the window, lil Jimmy says " the window doesn't work. Officer 2 opens the door and in doing so a 12 guage shotgun falls from between the lil Jimmy's leg and the door landing on Officer 2's feet. Big Jimmy and lil Jimmy are now in loads of trouble, especially after a search of the car discovers an empty 12 pack od Budwieser's finest. As Big Jimmy and lil Jimmy are being placed in hand restraints and read thier right Big Jimmy's Dad pulls up becuase he saw his son was pulled over. Before Dad gets out of the car completely he is yelling at Big Jimmy "son I am going to whip your azz when I bail you out tonight" Officer 1 steps over to Dad and speaks to him, after running a criminal check of Big Jimmy the decision is made to release Big Jimmy to the parent INSTEAD of arresting him, thus placing a negative mark on this kids life (yes at 19 he is still a kid). Did Officer 1 know that releasing Big Jimmy to Dad would result in Big Jimmy getting his azz whipped at home ? Yes, but that's called PARENTING. In Miami these 2 kids would have been arrested and prosecuted, thus ruining thier lives due to youthful mistakes. But thats acceptable as long as Mom and Dad don't spank them ?

Now to clarify the rest of that night, the 2 kids were out night hunting with 2 12 guage shotguns (both were found in the car during the search). Niether kid had ever been arrested, niether kid had signs of alcohol consumption and the parent of 1 was on scene immediately after the incident began. Since the 19 yr old was present the shotguns were technically in his possession, which is legal in Florida. Big Jimmy was released to Dad and Lil Jimmy was taken home to his parents around midnight where his Dad was woke up and not very happy either. Needless to say lil Jimmy probably got his azz whipped too.


The "Don't you dare spank that child!" comments DO happen, you just haven't seen it or had to experience it. I for one would welcome some idiot in society trying to tell me how to raise my child.

You mocking him actually offends me, please be more respectful to our members, old or young, agreeable or not.

Pot meet kettle

[DoubleM]

my reasons for asking shall remain unspoken for now....

the question is...who thinks it is right, or wrong, to discipline children with a good smack every now and then when they do something wrong? this used to be an acceptable method in bringing up a child but now it is frowned upon and generally thought of as a bad thing.

You can't get in trouble for it unless you leave a mark, or do it for no good reason.


EDIT: At least that's how it is where I live.

[llloXolll]

You can't get in trouble for it unless you leave a mark, or do it for no good reason.

Exactly ...