How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

[dabest]

uhhh i'd get my spam waves and get the H3LL outta there

[Alzar]

Well i wouldnt really have to worry because they would all run away once they saw me

[SickbyDefinition]

Chainsaws are terrible weapons. Period. Blood flies everywhere and it will run out of fuel.

That gun is too heavy as a result, it's not a practical weapon for anyone in any situation.

This is serious business, Alby. You must be prepared at all times.

I like your practicality

[Thalric]

like jason?

[Zeusmighty]

Id just go to walmart get a new laptop for FREE and play evony and give up..

[KMD]

Well if ya can't beat em join em but i'm dieing with style i'm strapping on a bomb and drunk driving a car into the middle of a crowed of zombies...asta la vista baby BOOM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcSAjihybYk

Once again could not help myself

[King Alboin]

Chainsaws are terrible weapons. Period. Blood flies everywhere and it will run out of fuel.

That gun is too heavy as a result, it's not a practical weapon for anyone in any situation.

This is serious business, Alby. You must be prepared at all times.

Oooo Ahhhh, Dried blood red? I like

Chainsaws are not terrible weapons, now I will agree that attached to an assault rifle is too heavy, however Scoffer McScofferton check out this vid, from a company that actually makes a solar charged, cordless electric chainsaw ... just for Zombies =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhyvx6ZlwfM&feature=player_embedded

any melee weapon will produce Zombie blood goo splatter, so, keep your mouth closed and wear your saftey glasses, but moreover, shoot and run, like Andrea did [great girl, she]

So?

Okay you want serious? "YOU CAINT HANDLE SERIOUS" lols always wanted to use that line. [ticks off item number 113 on bucket list]

But seriously, here is serious if you want serious rasterinfraorder'anisoptera?

I submit this list for surviving the ZombiePocylyps for preppins

On the upper torso ...



lower torso ...




On my person, at all times:
2 - 5.75 oz Pack of David Sunflower Seeds
2 - M9 Berettas (legg'd and shoulder'd holsters)
9 -High capacity magazines 9mm (loaded)
1 - Field weapon cleaning kit
1 - Pouch filled 100ct loose 9mm rounds, within wax paper satchet
also can be used to [police up spent brass if possible for reloading at later date]
1- Cold Steel GI K-Bar 12 inch overall with 7 3/8 1055 carbon steel sharp azz blade.
1- Black polypropylene handles in a black kydex sheath.
1- pencil thick flint fire starter
◦UTG Tactical shoulder pack
◦(20) 2400 calorie food bars-Coast Guard approved
◦(2) 3 x 3 gauze pads
◦(2) 2 x 2 gauze pads
◦(2) 2 x 4 large patch bandages
◦(2) knuckle bandages
◦(5) 1 x 3 bandages
◦(5) butterfly wound closures
◦(14) QuikClot effective hemostatic agent sponges
◦(10) scalpel blade
◦(1) splinter out
◦(4) alcohol prep pads
◦(4) antiseptic towelettes
◦(2) Iodine pads
◦(1) 100ct mucinex
◦(1) 100ct vitamin C tabs
◦(1) 100ct multi-vits
◦(2) scripts of ampicillin
◦(12)nicotine patches
◦(1) mini Barbasol shaving cream can (non-menthol, good for burns)
◦(2) hydrocortisone cream
◦(2) triple-antibiotic ointments Neosporin
◦(40) ibuprofen and tylonol III's
◦(400) aspirins
◦(40) oxycontins
◦(210) caffine pills, [trucker's version]
◦(1) roll waterproof tape
◦(3) pairs of clean socks
◦(3) pairs of clean shorts [just incase I got really scared O.O]
◦(7) packs of Pall Malls
◦(2) packs of wicks for a Zippo lighter
◦(2) packets of Zippo lighter flints
◦(2) Zippo lighters
◦(1) jugglet of Ronsonol lighter fluid
◦(1) flint fire starter with striker - 2 3/4" x 1/4"
◦(1) box water-proof matches
◦(5) cheap Bic lighters
◦(5) tender-quick fire-tabs- Government issue
◦(1) tin of charcloth
◦(1) flask of Tennesee Corn Squeezins ( Whisky =)
◦(4) MP1 water purification tablets- military and boy scout aproved
◦(1) Katadyn pocket water filter
◦(100) packets of instant Coffee (hotel size)
◦(1) 1-qt. water container - for collecting and purifying water
◦(1) military style 6" LED flashlight tri-color capable - white, and then red and blue
◦(5) packs of spare batteries
◦(1) liquid-filled compass
◦(1) thermometer mini
◦(1) barometer mini
◦(1) altimeter mini
◦(1) emergency whistle
◦(1) hand chainsaw
◦(3) Lids -.o w/ziggies
◦(2) heavy-duty Gorilla duct tape - 3+ feet
◦(1) pair of cool looking safety glasses, witha reading bifocal lens
◦(1) silk thermo undies
◦(1) 20' para-cord - hundreds of uses including shelter building
◦(1) Fresnel lens-
◦(1) needle nose multi- tool
◦(1) Canteen filled with fresh Coffee
◦(1) Canteen filled with santized water


In my M1A2 Tank, [established earlier]



◦1) 5 gal bucket with toilet seat - self explanitory
◦16)6.6 gal jerry cans fill'd with potable water
◦4) intra-group personel communications devices [solar charged]
◦4) assorted portable solar chargers
◦4) 7 x 9 canvas tarps for shelter or ground cover. w/stakes guide ropes
◦5) wool blankets- for warmth
◦1) Swiss military mess stove with extra case of fuel
◦1) Mini Webber Grill
◦2) 50# bags of Charcoal Brisketts
◦4) Navy Duffle bags stuffed full of mother green
◦2) thermo coolers filled with 100ct cheap beer ea. [bottles]
◦100) improvised styrofoam and gasoline molotov coctails [made from empty beer bottles]
◦150) 120mm M1028 Canister muzzle action anti-zombie'd-personnel tank cartridge, for use with the
M256 German Rheinmetall [US version] 120mm L44 smoothbore gun. ~C(=`
◦10) Packs 330 hr. candles- 60 candles 5.5 hrs. each. For light and warmth.
◦3) High volume Katadyn water filters
◦9) 200 ft. Para cord- thousands of uses
◦100) rolls Gorilla duct tape- 1 x 10 yds.
◦1) Marbles fireman's axe with sheath and sharping stone- also opens fire-hydrants.
◦100 -Rolls Scott Toilet Paper
◦10 - 12 pack of Toilet Liners
◦10 - 12 Pack of Bio Green Toilet Chemicals
◦2 juggs of Lysol
◦LRRP MRE's [amount undetermined]
◦100 - 13 gal. Trash Bag with "Human Waste" Hang Tag
◦100 - 10 pack of Toilet Seat Covers
◦100 white shop towels
◦100 bars of soap
◦5 gallons of bleach
◦10) 1 gallon juggs of All Clear heavy duty laundry soap
◦10 - cases of 100ct blue rubber gloves
◦100 cartons of Pall Malls
◦16 5# cans of 100% Arabica Bean Ground Coffee
◦5 kegs of beer
◦30 bottles of assorted Spirits [whiskey, vodka, tequilla]to be used as molotov coctails after consumed
◦1 deck of cards
◦1 chess set [magnetic]
◦1 backgammon set
◦9 cases of pilfered wine
◦ButtLoad of ammo for all weapons utilized
◦10 cases of David Roasted & Salted Original Sunflower Seeds

and ...



and ...




now, friend, where is your serious lists of seriousnessings?

[rasterbee]

Yeah you're not taking it serious.

You just throw out a giant laundry list of survival gear, it's too much. You'll be carrying too much and weighted down and slow. You don't even have a plan.

I like that you included a melee weapon, but 1 isn't enough. You will run out of bullets, they will not be easy to scavenge, and your 7" knife will get stuck in a body or skull.

You probably don't even have any of this stuff, and if you do have a few of these items, they aren't packed up in a bug out bag ready to go. Or are they?

I'm just ignoring the bottom half of your list, after the tank. You don't have a tank. You have what you can carry and that's it. We can't pretend that we will be prepared for when it happens. It'll happen while you're at the grocery store buying your tampons or in the middle of the night while you're fast asleep in your bed. I assume you don't take a tank to the grocery store or leave it in the driveway every night.

My list is pretty simple, I also have a plan and a place to go, so I'm pretty lucky.

I live on the second floor of an 8 bedroom home that has been converted into 4 apartments. My entrance is in the back on the house and has 3 doors and a staircase in between the outside world and my front door. I am the only person to use this entrance and all three doors open inwards allowing me to use my furniture to barricade the doors shut. Using an axe, I will destroy 8-9 steps of the staircase so no one can easily just walk upstairs, sealing myself in.

I will not leave the house for any reason (save it burning down) for at least 3 days.

If the phones are still working, I'll keep in touch with my grandma and find out what's going on at the farm. Our family has a few people nuttier than me in regards to this kind of situation, so we've made plans to all congregate at our farm, which is 1000+ acres and 35 miles from the closest town (3k people live in this "town"). Best case scenario, if everyone in my immediate family shows up, we'll have a standing army of ~40 people, all armed and with life long fire arms training. I'm not going to go through a laundry list of guns and how much ammo we have because that's just silly, but after Obama was elected they started stock piling ammunition because Rush Limbaugh said Obama was going to make bullets and shells illegal or something. I don't keep a gun at home, my own personal fire arm is a Remington 7600, one of the safest guns to keep loaded. It's not for close range, obviously.

If the phones aren't working, which is to be expected, I just wait. I have access to the roof of the house I live in from the second floor balcony outside my kitchen. I have a direct line of sight down the main road of my town and all the way to the highway on/off ramps. I wait for the initial chaos to die down and for people to stop killing each other immediately, hop in my car and drive the 90 miles to my farm. If the highways are clear, I'll take them. If not, there are dozens and dozens of routes, this area was homesteaded back in the day and the roads are set up in a grid system. Every 40 or 80 acres there's an intersection and you can travel north, south, east or west. If there's a problem somewhere, I just drive a 1/4 or 1/2 mile further and take the next road.

Or, if the world is over run by 6.9 billion zombies and my family is lost and I'm one of the few people left, I just sit tight in my secure second floor apartment. If I don't leave, I don't have to carry anything anywhere, so the list is unnecessary.

If I am forced to flee or the situation allows me to get in my car and drive to the farm, I only take what I can carry. I'll throw some extra water and food in the backseat of the car if it's safe (there's already water and food in the trunk, two cases of bottled water for emergency use and to weight down the rear of my car for driving in the snow). My bag is already packed and sitting in my closet. 2 changes of clothes, 12 pairs of socks, 4 pairs of underwear. 24 Cliff Bars, peanut butter, tuna fish (not in cans, the kind in the metallic/plastic vacuum sealed bag), flashlight, 24 batteries, my knife, and yes a small medical kit with a bit of all the good stuff and all my daily vitamins and fish oily pills. In addition to the water in the trunk of the car, I've got three Nalgene style bottles to be filled.

The weapon I'll walk out the door carrying is an ice scraper. A 5 foot ash pole, lightweight and very strong, with a 5 inch metal scraper at one end. It's not specifically for killing, it's for defense. Pushing them away, tripping, knocking down, taking out a knee so they can't stand. I don't want to kill them until later, it keeps me stationary for too long in one location, I want to get to a safe place first. If it's one or two by themselves, sure, I'll put them down. But anymore and it's too risky. I just run/drive away.

Maybe I'll drop the pole, so behind my head attached to my bag are a short sword and homemade baton. The sword is "battle ready", as they say, but it's not the primary weapon. I won't use it for slicing, just stabbing. Too risky, may break or get stuck. The baton is lethal.

Um..yeah. So I'm practical and will remain alive. You're lost in dream land and most likely dead within the first few hours of an outbreak.

[King Alboin]

Yeah you're not taking it serious.

You'll be carrying too much and weighted down and slow.

You really did not read the list did you. what's the matter can you not read lists? besides the ammo, which aint that much, tell me what weighs so much it will slow me down, hmmmm? or is an aspirin too much for you to carry? well yeah, sozy no offense, I forgout that you are a bugg.

the rest of your "not an answer to my question, in the format I requested" is ... well?

Interesting but yet, boring. a ho hum, not well thought out, olive drabb sort of, if but still practical in a way, as to which you dont know where your resourses are, except for what you've experienced in life. So I forgive you, even though it is so hard for you to admit you are wrong, about the chainsaw.


Um..yeah. So I'm practical and will remain alive. You're lost in dream land and most likely dead within the first few hours of an outbreak.

I drive a truck for a living, a BIG TRUCK, all over the USofA and have spotted my resourses and what I dont have I can pilfer. Like the tank.

Being mobile as I am, affords me the capabilities to aquire said items, and I aint no light weight, so I can carry all the above in personal list, plus more if needed.

That is why I have as my weapons two M9's.

The knife is not a melee weapon to me, but a survival tool. there's a difference.

If you read the personal items list carefully, you will see most items are lightweight, except for the ammo and magazines, but I can make them lighter the more Zombs I put down.

I can drive a tank, hell I can drive anything that drives. I can operate all weapons on board it. And I can fix it, should it break down. I have learned a few actual practical real life skills in my 51 years of living on this planet, and have seen a butt more of this land in my 3,000,000 miles of driving it, rasterant, so again, when you assume anything about me, you assume wrong.

I think that you have watch so many movies and read so many comics, that you actually think a melee weapon would work at all times to your advantage. Considering the real world, and my own experiences in two real live sword fights, some knife fights, a gobb of fist fights, living in the woods for longer than anybody you know that is still alive and since I can not carry my chucks no more, cuz that is a felony in all 50 states, I prefer a handgun over any old sword or stick anyday. I will tell you this, sword fighting is not like it is in the movies, or the comics, you will tire out with exhaustion, after at the most three Zombs who come at you from the herd, if you dont lose your bowels in the first twenty seconds and pass out from shear pressure release. {I caint believe I am speaking WD, what morons they all are, but I digress}

Those items on the tank list would be from pilfering what remains, of civilization. As you say, no one would know where they would be, cept I know I would be driving my big 18 wheeler somewhere that I've been to before and will know where my resources for pilfering are at, and would then be able to find my wonderful tank, and take off in it, poste haste.

for I dont live in a house, I have one, but I dont live there, cuz I am always working, like a responsible adult should do, to earn a living to pay off debts, earn money, and contribute federal revenue.



as to what I actually do own and the specifics of what I really know? I aint tellin, that would be uncontructive to my privacy. Big Brother is watching. -.o

however those lists are sufficient for you to despise, as is your want.

you spit out "dream world", but it is my opinion you are the one living in the dream world and fear from too much contemplation on the matter.

but hey, I'm a nice guy, so I tell ya what, after I accidentally run over your lil car, and squash your two water bottles, I will offer you a ride to your family's farm, but you must ride ontop, cuz there will be too much ammo inside the tank to fit you in.

[estrickland89]

you guys ruined this thread