i need help

[DWorth]

this might be stupid to ask here but some of you might be able to help me.

I got this friend that well she IS family basically. But recently like tuesday last week she found out her cousin had died so she asked if she can crash here for the weekend to get away from hom and I said its fine and she came, but she was alright making joke laughing, but around sunday she seemed lost and kinda distracted. And sad like really sad and I already knew she was feeling depressed but I couldn't understand why she was happy and then sad so fast, maybe this shock of it just registered or something else happened I tried talking to her but she went home so the only way I can talk to her is through cell but hers is off another reason I started feeling weird cuz' she has tried umm killing herself in the past before or at least thought it. But anyway can anyone please tell me what I should do?? She really means a lot to us and she one of my best friends.

I might sound like a sap but please any help will be appreciated

[ImInsane]

First of all: Don't ever say "You have so much to live for". That is the dumbest thing you can say.

I would suggest that you spend some time with you friend. Say you had a great time with her, and would like to do it again sometime soon.
Can you go to where she lives to get ahold of her? There was ways to get ahold of people before the phone and internet, so I guess you could do that.
I think the reason why she got sad was the fact that when she was with you, it was something different than what she was used to. Kind of like an escape from reality. Which is pretty damn good sometimes. Then when the weekend was over, she saw herself going back to reality, where she had to think about stuff again.
Try to do funny things with her, and maybe keep it simple and not too public, as it's more intimate when you're not around alota people. It's alot easier to appreciate that.

Anyway, that's my thoughts on it. Hope it helps DWorth.

[DWorth]

thanx I will try some of that... I already asked her brother a way to get a hold of her and he just said try again I don't think he even noticed. I'm actually thinking of trying to get her to stay her till she feels better. My mom had the same ideas so we're trying to do that and I really hope it works. Thanx

[Morgan le Fay]

Probably not the best place to be asking such a delicate question but since you've asked it I'll try and be as empathic as I can.

People handle grief in different ways, no two people will act the same way after losing a loved one or someone close to them. You didn't say whether your friend's cousin died suddenly or after a long illness but sometimes if someone dies unexpectedly that can bring on a delayed shock. As for the change of mood, that isn't unusual. She probably was trying lighten the mood and then afterwards felt guilty for feeling happy.

If your're worried she is depressed then the best course of action is try and speak to one of her close family and voice your concerns. They may also reassure you that everything is under control and not to worry, if they were unaware of her threats to kill herself then it's possible that they may gently persuade your friend to seek help. It maybe also reassuring for you that many who threaten suicide often don't go through with it, they're simply crying out for help.

In the meantime, be there for her. Don't pressure her or tell her to "cheer up" and suchlike. Just being a supportive friend can mean a lot to someone who is suffering from grief, it means someone is more than happy to listen to their woes without being judged in any way.

Hope that helps.

[Mopster]

Is this person a friend? A relation?

[DWorth]

ok thanx we just finally got her to talk she's coming to stay for a bit. Thanks everyone! I will try and do some of the suggested things ...

A friend but she's so close we call her family

[SickbyDefinition]

Whenever i'm sad over something serious such as a loss, I more or less just like the company. When you're in that state not very much can be said to help you, so sometimes it's enough to just have someone that understands what support actually means. If this means sitting in silence, so be it.
Sometimes silence can be much more meaningful than words.

[Thalric]

same thing happened to my brother after his friend was in a car crash.

[Prodigy the 5]

There is no point trying to figure out the mood swing since it could be any number of things.

To make her feel better all you can do is be there for her and spend time with her. When someone is depressed its hard to get them to do stuff without over doing it and making them feel worse. Try taking her out for a walk. Go to the park or beach. Somewhere where the visual aspect of the surrounding can calm her. Don't try active activities. She will most likely not want to. The point is to distract her mind a bit. Once she's calmed a bit see if she wants to talk about it. But listen don't tell her what you think she should be doing or feeling. Sometimes talking about your problems helps.

[DWorth]

Thanks all and I knew it was delicate to ask here but I have no experience in that area thanks again to all