Fake News Thread

**King Alboin** · 04-23-2016, 09:03 PM

Fake News Thread:

Make up your own fake news;

First up ...

Is Sheldon Cooper, Barry Manilow's son???

You decide.

**Wildor** · 04-24-2016, 05:49 AM

Pepsi has marketed a ginger ale drink. The Illuminati conspiracy moves forward once more...

**King Alboin** · 04-24-2016, 11:58 AM

Scientist from the Dint'nodat University of Hyperbole, D.U.H., have just discovered that life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

**King Alboin** · 04-24-2016, 11:43 PM

This just in ... Robots caught cheating on Turing Test.

**King Alboin** · 05-06-2016, 02:16 PM

Crazy Stallion News Source is reporting that top scientist at the Wejusmaketingsupaswegoalong Group claim they have discovered the planet Smithereens.

Initially thought to be a non-existent fable, Smithereens may just exist after all. "After all, with this new discovery the existence of planet Smithereens is no longer in question," stated Dr. Kamatsuku Chibolavich, BAAE BSCE PHD PDF GIF JPEG ESS FAD GAP DOSF BUMS CAGS CCS PQD RMCA VBI VEH B.A.M., Head Honcho and Project Manager for Operation Quest for Stuff out in Space.

Plans are yet not in the works to visit Planet Smithereens in the near nor far future to rescue those who have apparently been blown there.

**King Alboin** · 05-09-2016, 07:51 PM

**King Alboin** · 05-11-2016, 11:52 PM

A report handed down from the Office of Self-Discovery Journeys says that statistically these types of journeys are hazardous to the health of those who travel down those paths.

In conjunction, the Department of We All Up in Yo Biz'niz has cancelled any and all journeys of this nature.

Journeys affected by the cancellation order are:

The Journey to physical fitness,
The Journey of inner enlightenment,
The Journey to conquer fear,
The Journey of following the rock band Journey,
The Journey for personal growth,
The Journey of navel gazing,
The Journey for unraveling truths,
The Journey of divided lines,
The Journey of unity,
The Journey for daily understanding;

Due to the Journey for self-preservation, this news blurb is ordered into suspension.

**King Alboin** · 05-21-2016, 02:24 AM

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Disclaimer:
Janie McCarthy is not a real person. Any confusion implying she is, is wrong. I do not usually do disclaimers, so this is one of your basic amateur disclaimers. Don't do drugs, stay off of meth, Fords are okay to drive, as long as you do not let your friends know you drive one, Kale causes hemorrhoids, genital spider bites are painful, so protect your nuts when camping, shaking the truck out of a used condom is not protected sex, flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen, toe jam is not good to eat, sex causes babies, babies cause child support, child support causes alcoholism, alcoholism causes depression, depression causes homelessness, homelessness causes crotch itch, use Balmex after hobo showers, hamsters will bite the hand that feeds them, so will that puke of a brother of yours, trust no one, especially yourself, you may have delusions of grandeur, thinking you are the center of the universe, answer, you are not the center of the universe, I am, delicate is the path to success, listen, learn, shut-up, proceed, read instructions before attempting brain surgery upon oneself, never lie to your lawyer, never lie to your brain-surgeon, never lie to yourself, never lie to your landlord, always tell the truth to your houseplant, those that smile and shake your hand, will stab you in the kidney with the other hand, skin tags are meant to be pulled, close your eyes, grasp it firmly twist left and YANK it the truck off, apply Balmex and a band aid, blow is just a term of expression, exhale out before a shot, then inhale through the nose after the shot, drink water during drunkings, keep hydrated, tis the only way to reduce hangovers, always smoke a cigarette filter to mouth, and never chew gum and chewing tobacco together, when in doubt always choose the left path, the right path always leads you back to the beginning, and last but not least, designated drivers deserve to be handsomely paid for their selfless acts of getting yor arse back home without getting a DUI.