Jokes

[wpack10]

Nice. Im too lazy to type anymore long ones.

[devis666]

a bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. they then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced he decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Paradise. they're all lined up and god asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so god snaps His fingers, and it is done. the second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says, "Make 'em all ugly again".

[wpack10]

^OMG that sounds like so much fun. I would be that guy. The ass. ((Sorry if thats deemed a bad word.))

[Ruyuk]

It is wpack10, it will only get edited!

Notice: When I make fun of mod edit thingy, I will use cyan, not blue. Just so you know it is my special "edit".

[devis666]

i got this in an email

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Laura Turner during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

[wpack10]

^Lol........

[Milonius]

Looks like I'm not the only superbumper on the forums

[chinothepony]

Best Inventions:


Helicopter ejection seat.

Submarine screen door.

Solar powered flashlight.

Can opener in a can.

[jakman]

If anyone has any good jokes please post on this

[Rigbine]

Most of my jokes would offend someone. But here goes on one that shouldn't offend anyone.

So when you go camping in bear country it is always good to make some noise so that the bears know you are there and they will generally leave you alone. I was out camping with some friends from out of state so we put bells on our shoes to let the bears know we are there, a common practice with campers and hikers.
As we're hiking we come across some bear poop. I quickly identify it as being black bear poop. My friends, surprised that I could so quickly tell asked me how I knew it was black bear poop. Easy I said, grizzly bear poop has bells in it.



Not the funniest joke, but for some reason I always get laughs when I tell this joke.