Victor Delfi woke up on the morning of June 12, found he didn't have any money and got the brilliant idea to rob a bank, according to the FBI.

After shoplifting a pair of pantyhose and pulling them over his head, the Illinois man allegedly walked into the Lincoln Park Savings Bank, claimed he had a gun and made off with over $5,000.

But the money contained a dye pack, which exploded soon after he took the cash.

Of course the ink got all over the money, making it obvious that it had been stolen and rendering it useless, which is the ingenious point of these exploding packs.

Because only a total idiot would try to spend the tainted money, let alone attempt to deposit it in his bank account, right?

Right.

And this is why Victor Delfi is our dumb criminal of the day -- because he deposited the money, say authorities.



After Matthew McQuade, 44, robbed a Citizens Bank in Framingham, MA, last night, he fled with the cash but was found an hour later hiding out in a nearby Dunkin' Donuts, according to police.

This was a brilliant plan BECAUSE COPS NEVER HANG OUT IN DONUT SHOPS.

Oy.

Police say they recovered all the money save $4.40. Here's hoping his cruller and coffee were worth the jail time.

Since Dunkin' Donuts new campaign is all about how cheap the food is, maybe as a public service they could change the slogan from "Breakfast Not Brokefast" to "You Don't Have to Knock Over a Bank to Enjoy our Menu. Please."



In bank robbery, like in life, timing is everything.

So it wasn't that William Jerry Strickland Jr, pictured, had a bad plan to rob
the Whitney Bank in Pensacola, FL, yesterday, according to cops; He was shrouded in a disguise of a black trench coat, plastic gloves and a blonde wig that covered his face, as well as carrying a toy gun.

The problem was that Strickland, 49, had allegedly donned his camouflage while waiting in the bank's parking lot, where the bank's observant manager saw his outfit and locked the branch's front doors. At the same moment, a Marine reservist and an off-duty police officer also saw the suspicious costume and began chasing Strickland, catching him a block away.



In the current economic climate, it's always uplifting to hear stories of people who are still shopping.

Well, maybe not always.

On Saturday night Larry Thomas went to his local mall, and instead of reaching for cash or plastic, he attempted to pay for his merchandise with cocaine, according to Cincinnati police.