You know you've been too long in Romania if....


You hate air conditioning because you think it's going to cause the most awful diseases;

You drive around in summer with the left arm extended as far as possible out the window, preferably with a cigarette between your fingers, and you keep flicking the ash;

You let your mother do everything for you such as washing your clothes, cleaning your house, and generally running your life;

You don't call people on your mobile, but instead send a missed call for them to ring you, in order to cut down on the phone bill;

You actually wonder why they don't call you back, and get annoyed;

You use circular lace thingies on which to put things like vases, table lamps etc

On the said circular lace thingies, you also place porcelain ornaments in the form of hunter with dog, leaping fish and girl carrying bucket;

You still use antimacassars on the back of your armchair;

You eat a dinner of Ciorba de Perisoare (topped with smantana), 1/2 Kilo of pork, a portion of Cartofi Taranesti, a load of pilaf, maybe a few sarmale, topped off by a plate of Papanasi with LOTS of smantana and a few beers, followed two hours later by 8 mici and a plate of greasy chips, with more beer, and then wonder why you are putting on weight;

You smoke 60 a day;

You think everyone in the west has a 400 sq. metre villa, six luxury cars, a yacht and a collection of diamonds just for the wife, and doesn't actually work as there's no need;

You don't mind queueing for an hour in the supermarket because the person in front with the four trolleys piled with bottles of soft drinks and washing powder has realised he doesn't have enough cash on him to pay, and he starts an argument with the checkout girl (like, it's her fault he miscalculated the price);

You expect as a matter of course to wait in shops in malls while the assistants clip their nails, fix their hair and call Mariela on the mobile for a chat;

You go to a "house & home" exhibition and a bevy of girls in micro-micro-minis (great legs, granted) swarm around you to persuade you to buy a transverse-position hydraulic-action hi-speed-compression water pump, or at a book fair, the girl with the large outstanding qualities in front and very tight top tells you that the latest book in Swahili by Okandu Mobango is a very good read and you must have it;

You've just bought a top-of-the-range washing machine in Flanco, but still insist on washing by hand to save on electricity;

You swerve wildly, even if there's an artic coming straight at you, to avoid even the most miniscule pothole;

You don't use a seat-belt because you heard a story once about a guy who was trapped in a burning car at the bottom of a 400 metre cliff and burned to death;

You drive at 180 kph on even tiny roads, but when someone flashes to say there are cops in the neighbourhood, you slow down to 50 in a 100 zone;

When you hear someone say "We live in Romania and that takes up all our free time", you nod and smile knowingly;

You relate fully to this and find it amusing!!
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You cant have a boyfriend when you are 17 but you have to be married at
18.

You grew up on liver pate sandwiches.... and thought that it was normal.

You make your own noodles.

You had to share a room until you were 21.

You eat everything with sour cream.

You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.

You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.

All your children have nick names, which sound nowhere close to their
real names.

You know someone with 20 kids.

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

You can fit 10 people into a Dacia.

You know what a Dacia is.

Your parents never throw anything away and if you by some chance manage to get something to make it to the garbage can... it mysteriously appears back where it was again.

You have lace tablecloths.

You have lace curtains.

You have lace curtains hanging across doorways.

You have rugs covering every inch of your house.

You have or ever had rugs on your walls.

Your mom tells you you're too skinny even though your 30 pounds
overweight.

You ever heard of 'stomach stew'.

You know someone that married his girlfriend of 2 months.

You ever said, "Nu pot right now ca sunt busy!" or any other sentence
in a similar bilingual format.

Your mom is a doctor and force feeds you medicine for anything ranging
from a headache, stomach ache to a stubbed toe.

Your house is full of Romanian medicine that is probably illegal here.

You and your friends have ever been kicked out of a restaurant or
recreational park for being too loud or rowdy.

Your mom recycles plastic cups and paper plates, and sandwich bags by
washing them.

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

Your dad ever butchered a pig or lamb.

You ever ate pig skin.

You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as
possible.

Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (Got free with some household items).

Your mom ever chased you with a rolling pin or a broom telling you to
stop so that she could hit you.

Your dad ever threatened to smack you across the mouth for being
disrespectful.

You're twenty years old and your parents are trying to send you to
romoville to get you married cause your old.

Getting married at 18 is normal.

Getting married at 16 actually happens.

Your mom washes your clothing at 40.

A new tax being passed by the government is simply a cover up because
the end of the world is really coming.

Asking if you can get a discount at a discount store on clearance items
is normal and not embarrassing for your parents.

You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight.

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you
discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have
improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their
lungs when making foreign calls.

You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting
dirty.

It's "normal" if your wedding has 600 people.

You dont know half the people at your wedding cuz your parents invited
them.

You have mastered the art of bargaining in grocery shopping.

You walk out of the grocery store with no less then two packed shopping
carts weekly.

You ever took a picture in a bathroom or saw a pic of a group of girls
in a bathroom.

You have a RO sticker on your car.