Welcome to the inaugural “cry all you want – just not on my shoulder,” Kempion’s Komplaint Korner!

We have a lot of topics and contestants to get to today, so let’s not waste anymore time!


I'll start! I actually have a legitimate complaint of Evony. I know! Some of you are all agape… or agasp… or gasping agape. Moi? I have a complaint? Hell yes!

Mech Battalions on the Wheel of infinite Speakers… of infinite [Queue echo machine] doom-oom-oom-oom… and stuff.

Ok, so there you are plodding along under Beginner’s Protection on a brand-freakin’-new server, then all of a sudden… KERRRRRRRRRRRRRRASH! TING-PING! DOINK! RAZZZZ! Your protection drops and the little birdie starts to flash red. You check it out. OH GREAT! SOMEBODY GOT A FREAKIN’ MECH BATT OFF OF THE WHEEL… of infinite Speakers of infinite [Queue echo machine] doom-oom-oom-oom… and stuff.

Well, at this point you do what any reasonable person would at a moment like this: You bend over, grab your ankles and shout aloud, “C’mon! Pound that battering ram home, baby!”

I staunchly believe all mechs should be built by players. NO EFFING FREEBIES! This is the only thing I can think of which comes off of the Wheel of infinite Speakers… of infinite [Queue echo machine] doom-oom-oom-oom… and stuff which completely wrecks the game. And, ya know it’s not that uncommon of an item to get from the wheel.

Dev Team, fix this or we riot!

***

Ok, so let's get to our first contestant and find out what really grinds their Grievance!

Bob...


OK! Our first contestant is a shoe salesman from Atlantis.... hey! Put him back in the fish tank! He can't breath air! Oh, he died...

OK! Our next contestant is...