Well, now, isn't this a pleasant topic?

OK, I think I can put this all into perspective. You see, women ARE crazy. We didn't start out that way. We started out as sweet and generous and pleasant to be around. We started out with all these fantasies in our heads, ground into us via books and movies and music and whatnot, about a man falling in love with us and calling us "honey" and caring about how we feel. So we go out into the big wide world and we see all these lovely men, and a good bit of them are telling us they love us and they call us "honey" and they act like they care how we feel. The only want a few simple things in return, too! YAY!

So we start doing their laundry. And we take over their grocery shopping so they will stop living on ramen noodles and boxed mac n' cheese and pizza delivery. They don't want to fuss with coupons and sales and things, so we do that for them. They don't want to cook the stuff we bought so we cook it for them. They don't LIKE to do dishes, so we'll do that too. Heck, while we are at it, we'll clean their whole place for them. No really, we LIKE doing this because we know it makes you happy, and because we love what we get in return: the snuggling and the kisses and the hugs when we are having a bad time.

The problem of course arises when you look around your clean place, smell the wondrous food in the kitchen, pat your full belly, put on some clean, freshly laundered clothes, and realize you have moved back home and that must be MOM in there doing all the work. And you know how you only bother to call your mother once a year for Mother's Day and the rest of the time you live your own life? Yeah, you start doing that to us. You whine and complain and grump and fuss and start rolling your eyes at us and saying we "nag" you all the time and why can't you go out for a beer with the guys without bothering to tell you we wouldn't be coming home until after midnight?

And we get MAD. We still upkeep the home, because we live there too now, but you no longer bother telling us sweet compliments or wanting to spend time with us, so why exactly are we here? And the whole thing drives us crazy, so your talk about nagging and such becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and we start wanting to share the crazy with YOU who caused it.

And abracax? Can I please have a word with you in private? *hefts an iron skillet behind her back* Just for a moment?