Children on the Internet

[KOOPS95]

You can't really ask someone to tone down their adultness on the internet, because...well, they're on the internet, which is widely know to be not real life. In real life, you know if there's a child in the room, unless he/she's hiding or you're blind.

On the internet you can almost never be sure, and they generally don't scream "I'm a seven-year-old, don't say that!" right when they join.

Basically, you can't be asked to be responsible for someone else's child on the internet, because it's.... well it's the internet, not real life.

[King Solomon]

ok some people feel that way candle and kOOpS, but if they want a way they can mail me or read the post, and see what you all are saying, i am just saying to that it can be done here and what logrus said is right we should try and be better so that when children come they see good things and not bad.

[Kingale]

Ok so im just a watcher in these forums but ill put my say in this topic (it has interested me)

As a 15 year old boy I have very strict parents. but even with there boundrary around the adult world i was still exposed young. At the age of 9 a birthday party at a mates house led us to a room where "The Books" are hidden (of course with out the parents known). I mean in this scenerio there are many things to discuss about but it basically shows that no matter how much you try to hide it or protect your child there will always be outside influences.

[King Solomon]

right which is why we should try and be as good as we can be for a while so if they look out it isn't as bad as it could be.

[CandleLite]

no let them see the why the world is. but be adult enough to expaln what they are seeing. yes that person is *whatever* they made choises that led to *behavior* and now *ferther explanation*
by doing this there will be no culture shock when they reach adult hood. I want to make it plane that i am NOT saying we should take our children where they will be exposed dilratly!! that would be worse then awfull. but if some random 3year old asks you why you drink/ smoke/ whatever. be adult enought to admint right out what makes you endulge in "adult" behaviors

[abracax]

i am going to play devils advocit i think.
blocking is not the answer. i grew up so incredably shelted that 1/2 the time i didnt know what my friends were talking about. we did not have internet, we did not have cable tv. i watched star track and the nightly news and was sent to bed. i was sent outside to play and while i'm gratefull my imagination was so lovingly nurtured, it was also starved for matriel. as a result when i reached my majority and was alowed to leave the house i want crazy breaking ever rule my parents placed on my that i felt was stupid and unnessasary. for example; my sisters and i were not alowed to call boys becasue "girls who call boys get pregnant" so when i went to college i called every phone in the boys dorm in one day just to prove my mother wrong. we wernt alowed more then 1hr of tv in a day. so while at college i spent 3 whole days infront of the tv. and i still cant walk a way from one if its on. my grades sufferd becaue i was so bussy breaking every stupid rule i hated to much as a child. and i droped out to my lasting regret.
as a parent i see the need to guid and teach self disaplin, but haveing been SO incredably sheltered as a child i think my son may infact recive too much freedoms. i will galdly explain anything he comes accross, but i'm not about to make rules with out explaning why they are nessacary and when there will be exceptions to them

I definitely do not advocate sheltering children. In our house we discuss many things with our children to help prepare them as they grow and have to deal with more that life has to throw at you. We discuss things in the news, we discuss situations, science, war, politics, religion, nature, and we even touch on the issues of sex here and there. However, I do not need my children to learn things they are not prepared for by people on the internet.

So, as I said, we supervise our children's time on the internet, we also choose what sites we allow our children to visit. My 9yr old son plays two MMO's, they both have parental controls for when you sign up, you can allow your kids to chat freely, or they can only use and see prechosen responses. This is called being a responsible parent and keeping active in every aspect of your childs life. Too many parents let their kids do whatever on the internet, they give their kid a computer in their room with internet access and not once supervise any of their activities on said computer.

Yes, there is nothing wrong with people behaving themselves on the internet. Yet for people like me, this is my form of entertainment. I do not go out with friends, I don't spend time away from my family to enjoy myself. Instead I pop on the internet and like to enjoy myself. Sometimes clean fun, other times it's adult topics and not fit for kids. As I have said, I however refuse to take responsibility for other peoples kids, specially on the internet. If in the alliance the chat turns dirty, guess what, if a parent allowed their kid to play in a game with adults you had to know there would be times like that. It is your responsibility as a parent to monitor and supervise your own children, you cannot depend on the rest of the world to do it.

[King Solomon]

I agree with you.

[wpack10]

I know of one 11 year old in my alliance, and hes only here because his aunt is our alliance host. So she keeps us all in line when hes on. The other day we touched on a crude topic while he was on, but its a matter of what type of other players there are. My alliance is pretty friendly and used to having me at 14 around so they know how to draw the line.

However again it is the parents/guardians job to look into what there kids do on the internet etc. As for the rest i basically second what Abracax said.

[FoxyBunny]

Such an interesting topic.
I can see some good points in both sides of this. I personally feel that while I am not responsible for anyone's children but my own, I think that all adults have a responsibility to protect children. I think there are safe ways to do this.

First off, encouraging parents to monitor and supervise their children's internet usage, and installing blocking filters and other such methods is an excellent first step. Ideally, each parent would actually BE a parent.

Second, I think that adults can and should be mindful of the situations they are in. If you are in a 100 person alliance, unless you know everyone personally who is in there, chances are good you've got a kid or two playing. If you want to have "adult" chats, do it in a separate room where you can control who sees the chat. This doesn't just apply to children...it applies to adults who may not choose to have to see that kind of discussion.

All that being said, I think that having to give up all MY rights to adult discussions/activities and choices simply because a child might possibly stumble into the situation is unreasonable. To say that I can never engage in any adult talk because someone else might not be a responsible parent is ridiculous. I will be mindful of my situations, and I will personally supervise my own children, but I can't spend my entire life walking on eggshells just because some parents hand their 10 yr old a laptop and let him run off and surf the net.

[Edu]

I think the problem, if you can speak of such, is not age, but location.

What is seen as a kid in one country in another country is a person of marriable age.... Why put borders on things?

For instance, in the US of A, you are allowed to drive a car at 15, probably shoot a gun too, but kiss a girl and have a drink are highly illegal... In a lot of countries in Europe you cannot drive a car until you are 18, but kissing a girl (or boy whatever your sex is) is seen as part of education.

If in Europe a boob is to be seen on TV nobody blinks an eye, but in the US (and other countries probably) the whole nation is in turmoil. (Janet Jackson as most famous example).

It is said over here that girls age earlier and more as boys. A 12yo girl is often more mature as a 12yo boy. In my personal experience girls these days are a lot more matured as they were in my days. I can't recall seeing girls 11, 12, 13 who looked like 16 or 17 in my youth.

Yes there are kids on this game, and I am sure that their parents have some sort of control over them. Although.... I am fairly sure that a lot of people my age who have kids haven't got a clue what Internet is (unfortunately). My best friend can just about turn his computer on, but don't ask about internet games or forums. My brother, 2 years younger than me, sees a computer as a necessity for his work, but not for his pleasure. I don't know how they will be when their kids hit the teens.

The majority of kids (when do you stop being a kid, I wonder. Is Rose still a kid? Woody is definately, but I'm sure you all know what I'm pointing at) do very well know what they are doing and what the dangers are of internet. I don't think we as adults should worry about them. We can guide where we see fit, but even that can be seen as 'not done'.

Example of that, if I go to my old primary school in the Netherlands, nobody will look at me, even though most parents, kids & teachers won't know me. Here in England, I cannot even go into a school because the gates and the doors are locked! It can go too far, it DOES go too far.

Coming back to my first line, location - countrywise - is often more part of the 'problem' as age.
I have a theory that I call the cookie-jar-theory. I don't think I need to explain it, I'm sure you all know what I mean.