Everyone on the internet is a top brass CIA officer with world with a team of experts at their beck and call, apparently. Such a conversation must be routine:

"Hey Dan, could you stop what you're doing in Afghanistan for a moment and check out these ******bags out on this online game for a minute?"

"But we've got Bin Laden's location, a few more minutes and we'll be able to nab him."

"This is important, these guys are jerks."

"Ah hell, Bin Laden can wait in his cave a few more days, on my way."

*bat signal is launched