Crazy Kid Stories

[Wildor]

My turn.


I believe it was the summer of my 13th year when my mother got her first dishwashing machine. Not a new model but still in very good shape. We were all happy for her and it made one of those little "events" that family life so much revolves about. Like "The day of the new car" or "The day we found the cat". Or when I got my first pair of glasses.
However, "The day of the dishwasher" soon got supplanted by another little "event", as you will see...

That summer, my father decided I would play little league baseball. To this day, I do not understand what possessed him to register me. My brother, a year older and always a natural athlete, was the one who excelled at every sport. I, on the other hand, wasn't just bad at sports. I was atrocious!! I managed to get a little better in my late teens but only because I couldn't get any worse. And plagued by bad vision, baseball was a nightmare, being a most visual sport.

Anyway, about three weeks after mom got her dishwasher, I'm at Sunday morning practice and the coach decides to keep me for a little extra work. To try to get me to run properly. And catch properly. And to put the bat on that damned ball!! In his words: "make something close to a ball players outta you" (he soon after gave up the notion...). And after about an hour of that, he drives me home.

We get there about 1 o'clock in the afternoon and, as I get out of the coach's VW mini-van, I see mom with my kid sister in her arms, waiting for me outside the front door with the rest of the family already in the car.
"What took you so long?" she asks
"Extra practice" I say and, being my mother, I need not tell her another word. She knows of my athletic abilities...
"Listen" she says, "we're all going to town. Your lunch is ready and still hot. You'll have the house to yourself but we'll be gone about an hour, maybe a little more. All I ask is that you start the dishwasher after your meal. Can you do that?"
"...hum..."
"Alright" she sighs, "come inside and I'll show you... AGAIN!"

I can tell from her tone that she already showed me more than once, but I have an inborn tendency to a have my mind wander off at the most inconvenient moments. And it's nothing I can help. Right now, I for the life of me can't remember ever knowing anything about that machine!

"See" she says, "you put your plate down here, utensils go here, your glass up here and this place here, that's where you put the soap. It's under the sink. You close the door and lock it. That's important. If you don't lock it well and good, the machine won't start. Let me see you do it, it's a little stiff... There, that's good. That's the start button here. Now go wash your hands and face before you eat! We'll be back soon."
"No problem" I say. "This is easy! Don't worry, I got it!"

Making short work of hands and face (I'm famished!!), I sit and have my lunch with almost a sense of jubilation at the thought of operating this dishwasher machine. You see, I know how to do this. If I was a little apprehensive before, I feel I dominate the situation now! Hell!! I could probably design and build one of these things myself...
So, lunch finished, I step forth imperially and place my plate, utensils and glass in their proper place, find the soap under the sink and puts it in with a little extra dash as some of those pots and pans are really dirty (I can judge these things now, you see...), close and lock the door and hit the start button. And immediately, it starts. HAH! Nothing to it mom! I can do this every day now.

So... With the house all to myself and a good meal inside me, I do my usual thing: grab a book and sit on the sofa in the living room. But it's a nice, balmy summer day and the place is quiet, except for the drone of the dishwasher. I'm a little tired from extra practice and I just ate. So, not unnaturally, I fall asleep. And here I must pause in the story.




( To be concluded in the next post )