once i told my mom that i set the kitchen one fire


ok i know you shouldnt start with the puchline but its also a good 1st sentance so now you just have to deal with it. i hate working out side so i always volenteer to do the long inside chores to get out of it. floors, laundry, you name it... so i'm about 9 and i'm left to fix mac 'n cheese for dinner. no problem done it 100times. so i'm cleaning up around the kitchen and waiting for the water to boil and i smell something that is not boiling water. i turn around and i've left a pot holder too close to the elament and its smoldering, slightly black with just a hint of flam. naturaly as an alarmist i know the whole kitchen is going to go up in a blaze of glory any second so i snach the pot holder and fling it accross the kitchen into the sink where i am doing the dishes. then run out side where my whole family is doing some unknown thing called gardening, with dirt and odd implaments i have never understood. and i say to my mother in the calmest tones, like one delivering a wearth report no one is intrested in. "the kitchen is on fire, i think you had better come see" naturaly panick insues as everyone runs inside to see the flaming kitchen.
for some odd reason i have never been asked to cook for my family ever again. despite the fact i had it ready on time, flameing kitchen or not.