Monty Python Quotes

[Milonius]

BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these
questions three, ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your name?
LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT: Blue.
BRIDGEKEEPER: Right. Off you go.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
ROBIN: That's easy!
BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these
questions three, ere the other side he see.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your name?
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?
ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- auuuuuuuugh!
BRIDGEKEEPER: Hee hee heh. Stop! What is your name?
ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
BRIDGEKEEPER: Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!

[Pieman]

Lol, the bridge of death one is good too .

Im surprised nobody has trashed the thread yet lol


?We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!?

?-She turned me into a newt!
-A newt?
-I got better...?


[they fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight's left arm]
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't!
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?
King Arthur: I've had worse.

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid *******. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.