part of the problem i dont think many allies realise is:

allianceA declares they are friendly with allianceB, allianceB appears on allianceA's list as friendly, however allianceA does NOT appear on allianceB's list as friendly the only way this would happen is if allainceB declared friendly with allianceA.

so just because in you alliance list you have WMD as neutral or friendly does not mean they have you as neutral or friendly.