I can sympathize with your predicament, it can be a bummer to log on and find someone attacked while you weren't around for it. However, as a game of war and competition, armies are bound to be defeated and cities are bound to be destroyed.

One piece of advice I could offer to those playing Evony is to see armies and cities as tools and not become attached to them sentimentally- in a neverending game of war, they are not guaranteed to last forever.